The cloud of confusion

[rssjvcatcher1]

If you read my last entry which was also today you saw that i was hiding back things the reason i figured out that i was doing that isnt because i didnt want to tell anyone, that is however part of it, but the main reason is that i didnt know what i was feeling which to tell you the truth is worst then feeling pain hurt guilt any of those bad

Comments

I love you!

[lilsislace]

Courtney, baby. I completely understand what you are saying and feeling. I sometimes feel like no one wants me around. Before I was isolating myself when I first started coming over here but as you know that has completely changed. I think you should open up more, be a little more trusting. Don't doubt any of our love for you. We all love you dearly. You are as very important person to me as well as everyone else. When we are all upset and depressed you're the one person that keeps a smile on your face and is able to brighten the mood. And I'm sorry if you don't see this but you bring joy to all of our lives. You help bring light into all of our lives. You're always so caring and forget about what your feeling just to help others. And trust me I think that is a beautiful quality about you but baby sometimes you need to worry about yourself or you're going to break down. We are al here for you. You know this. I mean as soon as I noticed something was wrong with you I was quick to figure it out but you wanted me to read

Re: I love you!

[rssjvcatcher1]

Lacy i dont think you know what that ment to me just to hear someone say that....i know i'm very closed off to people not to place blame or anything but growing up i had really no friends so being social is not my strongest quality i'm trying to change that and let everyone in but sometimes for whatever reason it is hard for me....but life isnt suppost to be easy this i know.....but the main reason i'm writing this is so you know how much those few words typed on a page means to me also....it means the world to me that you noticed when no one else did or cared to act like they noticed you were there....i never thought you would be the one to read me and understand i'm in some kind of pain....but it was you and i'm happy for that because out of everyone i honestly feel as though if i were to tell you or christina something that might not be very excepted about how i'm feeling though you might not like what i say i believe you will hear me out and place your words in at a right time and possibly make me realize differently which i'm

[smokeitup]

*claps for lj bringing friends closer* hehe yeah I've did the long distance thing before..its very bittersweet but I wouldn't take it back for the world..

"maybe when i called her i should of been more clear that i needed to talk to her NOW"

Ever seen that movie "For love and basketball" when her dude was sitting there upset she left him because she had curfew! WhY do people do that..if staying there with "him"(lol) meant I got kicked out of the university I so would have stayed..

Hey thats not fair!!!!

[lezbitch]

Courtney baby you know I love you and you just don't understand!!!!! I try to talk to you but when I do you are always busy you never take the time to sit down and get "close" to me... You and everyone else knows I would do anything for you guys and obviously I"m just not showing it enough hey there's enough emily to go around it just gets hard though and I completely understand where your coming from so if you need me just ask and I'll be there. Besides I'm ot going anywhere I do happen to sleep in the same bed with you!!!! Wink Wink I luv you baby and I want us to be closer then you know!!!!!
Luv Emily