(Untitled)

[rubygamgee]

Total amount of elves in my book right now: two

Comments

[lordelrohir]

Bad child! Very bad little hobbit thing!

[primrosegamgee]

Would you like a cookie?

I know that books and food don't really mix. But um.... yeah.

Is there a toilet on your page?

[lordelrohir]

I DON'T WANT A COOKIE I WANT MY STUD MUFFIN!!!

[primrosegamgee]

I'm sorry. I didn't bake any muffins.

[primrosegamgee]

Your elf book is very pretty.

But the elves do not look very happy.

Prehaps they would like some flowers?

[rubygamgee]

That's an idea! The sad one can have some daisies but I'm going to put a rose with extra thorns in with the one that won't shut up.

Primroooooooooose how do you make crushed elves big again?

[primrosegamgee]

Are the thorns blunt? You don't want elf blood spoiling your pretty book.

Um. I do not know. I only know how to cook, prance daintily and steal babies ::weep:: um... get my hair done.

Have you tried tickling them till they jumped off the page?

[rubygamgee]

Prancing is cool. that's okay. I steal things too. *pats*

Hmm. Need feathers!

*goes to kick a pillow into submission*

[i_am_saruman]

Nice work.

I may have a place for you in my organization, child.

[rubygamgee]

...

NO!

MOMMMY SHARKEY'S TRYING TO TURN ME TO THE DARKSIDE!

[i_am_saruman]

Oh, please, child. I gave up corrupting souls long ago. You're what we call in my line of work "pre-corrupted" that is, you have a certain moral flexibility that I can make use of.

But what you really should be asking is, "What's in it for me?"

You could earn great riches with relatively little work, excellent benefits and immunity from prosecution.

It beats being turned into a beverage.

[rubygamgee]

Go away or I'm going to scream that you're touching me inappropriately, fucker.