Last week ended up being very crazy. I made it to the concert by myself and got to see my friend who is the drummer for a chat before the show. He was really sweet and said that he misses what we had for a time and felt like it was really magical, but he knew it couldn't last. It made me very sad that life has really moved on. He's with a new band ( Read more... )

The last few days have been rough, because long story short my brother has totally gone off the deep end and I may end up with custody of his four year old daughter. *sigh* This is not ideal for me as honestly I'm just holding it together as much as I can for our own kids. I don't need anymore stress. But I feel like I don't have a choice and we'll ( Read more... )

It's been a really raw open week. I honestly kind of felt like I was on my own when it came to dealing with my gender dysphoria and being bisexual and the shame I live with dealing with it all in secret. I honestly thought my mom was embarrassed about me and wanted to "cure" me ( Read more... )

Things haven't been going great for a while, but it finally feels like I'm just fucking it up big time. It's like this weird time where I feel like I'm in my head screaming I need help, but I can't get it out. The kids know something is wrong, because they are always asking if I took my meds and if I need anything. I see Ariel watching me out of ( Read more... )

Our car blew a head gasket. :( It's about to completely die. I was trying not to freak out. We were late driving over to my parents because B had to mess with it to get it going again safely. So when we get there I apologize and tell my mom what happened and she says, "Do you want the Camaro?" A minute later I hear my dad in the kitchen telling B ( Read more... )

I am so thankful that B and I have been together for 18 years, because there isn't anything we can't talk about. We had a good talk this weekend. Every thing seems so up in the air right now, so I'm glad to have him to listen and help decide what we should do ( Read more... )

It sucks so hard when a loved one is hurting and you can do nothing to fix it. My poor mom called me yesterday and was just sobbing. I swear I don't know how she has held it together this long with every thing that has been going on. When she drove home from the hospital with my dad he had no idea where they were when they got off the freeway. He ( Read more... )

I've been struggling with anxiety the last few days. I wish I knew what brought it on. But my liver has been acting up for a while, so I'm wondering if it's all related. I really need to go in and have them test my liver again, but part of me is afraid to hear that it's worse. That and we don't really have the money right now for me to be seen by ( Read more... )

I've been feeling off for about three days now. Struggling with head and facial pain as well as nausea and light headed issues. It's meant lots of pain medication and sleeping at weird hours. I laid down tonight at 6pm and took a nice drug induced nap for six hours, but then B got into bed and was snoring so loud. I finally gave up and got up to ( Read more... )

I had such a hard time waking up today. I could have stayed in bed all day. The kids came in at noon and asked if I was getting up soon. It was about the fourth time they'd come in to ask me something. I finally sat up on the edge of the bed. It took me like another half an hour just to get my clothes on. B wasn't home all day, so I was down to ( Read more... )