i think your new nickname will be "poop"; not because i think of you as excrement-esque in a bad way, but because i can't think of a conversation we've had where it hasn't come up.
I used to live in Eau Claire(corporate home and personal home of John Menard himself), and I was at one of the stores in town. The freaky Menards dude was greeting people at the lumber gate that particular day.
He doesn't give off that creepy smirk in person like he does on TV.
My parents were/are extreme 1975 Berkeley vegetarian/enviro hippies. In one house that we lived in while I was young, the only suitable place in the yard to dig a compost pit was in the narrow side yard. You *had* to have a compost pit if you wanted to be a serious east bay granola. Due to the size constraints, my mom would dig a compost pit every spring that was about 7 feet long and 3 and a half feet wide. Before anything was thrown in the pit, my mom would have my dad dress up (one in a nice suit, once in a cowboy outfit, etc) and lay down in the grave-sized pit, pretending to be dead. She would take a ton of pictures. They both thought that this was hilarious and those photos are proudly displayed in family photo albums.
that is seriously one of the best childhood stories i've heard.
though that may be because when i originally read it, i was in a hurry and for some reason thought that she also threw the compost on him for some reason (maybe i thought it had something to do with the composting of human remains, which i hear is going to be the next big thing in loved-one-disposal).
in a coso i pictured a man in a cheap cowboy outfit pretending to be dead with banana peels and coffee grounds on his face, trying really hard not to laugh.
This one time i was standing on my porch enjoying the sunny day and talking to my mother long distance on the phone. This asshole came up to me and told me our compost pile smelt bad (it did not) and that it was attracting rodents. (the squirrels ate the corn) He continued to yell at me for about ten minutes until i starred him in the face and walked in my house. after i thought the coast was clear i went back outside to continue my conversation. The asshole returned. He threatened me some more and told me to "move to the fucking country you hippy if you wanted to live in filth." What a dick.
jeezy creezy, what a fucktard. do you still live there? i'm totally willing to sit on the porch and look really mean and make fun of his clothes/inferior intellect.
Compost makes me think of:
anonymous
December 11 2003, 22:04:54 UTC
Retainers. Pink, plastic, orthodontial retainers. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say I had to wear them as an adolescent. I am also quite certain that I was not the only child who loathed these insidious dental devices. An unfortunate by-product of this hatred was my habit of removing them, wrapping them in Kleenex, and forgetting where I had left them. On one such occasion, an unknowing passer-by took the liberty of disposing of such a wad of Kleenex/retainer, directly into a bucket of apple cores, banana peels and leftover tuna noodle casserole bound for the compost heap. Upon my realization that this disposal had occurred, I forced my younger sister to search for the missing pink plastic tooth holders with me. We set out for the compost pile on this hot and humid Wisconsin summer afternoon. After digging through mounds of rotting organic material, including wriggling maggots and their swarming adult counterparts, she rose victoriously from the decomposition, retainers held high and glistening in the sun. That's what compost means to
( ... )
Comments 20
Reply
Reply
:(
i don't know what it is or why it happens. it's only with you guys too. i swear this isn't the only thing i talk about. i swear!
Reply
That's what immediately comes to mind.
Reply
Reply
I used to live in Eau Claire(corporate home and personal home of John Menard himself), and I was at one of the stores in town. The freaky Menards dude was greeting people at the lumber gate that particular day.
He doesn't give off that creepy smirk in person like he does on TV.
Reply
Reply
though that may be because when i originally read it, i was in a hurry and for some reason thought that she also threw the compost on him for some reason (maybe i thought it had something to do with the composting of human remains, which i hear is going to be the next big thing in loved-one-disposal).
in a coso i pictured a man in a cheap cowboy outfit pretending to be dead with banana peels and coffee grounds on his face, trying really hard not to laugh.
Reply
This asshole came up to me and told me our compost pile smelt bad (it did not) and that it was attracting rodents. (the squirrels ate the corn) He continued to yell at me for about ten minutes until i starred him in the face and walked in my house.
after i thought the coast was clear i went back outside to continue my conversation. The asshole returned. He threatened me some more and told me to "move to the fucking country you hippy if you wanted to live in filth."
What a dick.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment