HELLO STROKES TICKETS!!!!!!! May is much too far away, I propose that we lobby to have it moved up in the year. I also wouldn't mind a taste of the sun that's been neglecting us for so long.

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i just paid ALL of my bills. it feels so darn good i thought i'd share it with y'all.

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1. 'Satisfaction Guarantee ( Read more... )

I have the biggest craving to be a part of one of those schemes that involves a suitcase swap in a public place. It would of course have to go horribly wrong by way of a suitcase mix-up, resulting in a possible end of the world scenario. I would be the bad guy. Tom Cruise could save the day as he's running from a massive explosion with orphans tied ( Read more... )

This Sunday morning the pigeons are perched on my balcony rails, looking about with their apple red eyes. They stare in at me as if I am a caged animal. They smirk as they turn and shit on my patio furniture. My cats chatter and bang on the windows, threatening attack. And I just sigh and wish I was nothing but a diseased bird ( Read more... )

We are all scrambled eggs. I hope you haven't been looking forward to going on vacation. Eggs don't cook, they rot on the beach, they stink, they leave embryonic  fluid and transparent umbilical cord strings on the feet of tourists. You'd be pecked at by sea gulls and regurgitated into the mouths of the next generation, only to be shitted onto ( Read more... )

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Today I will let coffee replace sleep. I can feel my engine grinding, but the pilot light is off, so I will ignore my erratic heart beat. The blood runs shallow through my veins, a mere wading pool for sugar and caffeine. My eyelids are viciously fluttering, denying sanity, slumber, stability. This cyclic contraction takes my every breath and wraps ( Read more... )