So I haven't been posting here much . . . it seems pointless to post here and on Myspace. So . . . go there, its too much effort for me to copy and paste.

. . . would I want to write a mediocre story or novel, a shitty poem, when I could sit here and taste a sandwich, imagine the gratifying grind of a woman's thighs, choking on words from a well-crafted movie, licking fudge from a well-cleaned counter-top . . . why would I want to do anything apart from this ( Read more... )

"All your virtues are daughters of fear."

"My principal anguish and source of all my joys and sorrows from my youth onward has been the incessant, merciless battle between the spirit and the flesh."

--Nikos Kazantzakis

"WE LIVE THUS NOT BECAUSE WE HAVE TO, BUT BECAUSE WE HAVE LEARNED TO ( Read more... )

Why I am always falling, infinitely, for things that I cannot have. You could argue it is a part of my psychology, some sort of masochistic urge for unrequited love. But if I look at every situation honestly, I just . . .

Bad luck, bad timing old boy.

So today has been an un/interesting day. Shitting fire a la Bukowski. No more drinking for ( Read more... )

Well that was a disappointment, even Becker left me with nothing. He did so well, he was so intelligent, and then fluttered off in a momentary lapse of stupidity, muttering something or other, but really just saying nothing at all. He died as empty as any other man, but not with open arms ( Read more... )

I forgot how much I love this song (how a love song should be):
Relax... it's over, you belong to me ( Read more... )

a dirty martini for a dirty mind
knocking back the drinks at the closing and wailing hours
beckoning for somesort of wish that
one doesn't really care for

you aren't alive unless you're playing dead

and so you ignore the crumbling cookie
maybe you haven't even picked it up
slicing through tomato apocalips service ( Read more... )

My emotional imbalance is getting worse. I can't control the way the tiniest things, in conjunction, effect me. I wish I could lay myself in/at/with the Lotus Feet. This Self is nothing but an empty vessel, and I can't take the small steps needed to keep me sAne.

"He became someone who really cared about-or deeply didn't care about who I was. ( Read more... )

My legs ache, calves tight and slightly worried for a day at work tomorrow. Apparently swimming across the river by the Nimbus dam, in the middle of the night, in what one could call 'cold' conditions, can be a bit tiring. I swear it took twenty minutes to get across, no break, no place to hold on to; but if we take away the slight level of anxiety ( Read more... )