I haven't felt this way in many years. Many years ago I did feel so awful, so resentful, so much hatred, so guilty and so insecure. Yet now I feel this all again. No, I didn't do what I did back then, didn't do something horrible and bad enough that it would take me years to get over and finally believe that it was the right choice and the right ( Read more... )

All i can think of at the moment is to cut. I am so angry and so frustrated I have nothing else to take my energy out on. I feel it rising up inside me and feel the pressure and the heat and it wont stop building. Get it out of my chest. Rip my heart out. My face is dripping wet and cant stop it, the tears keep rolling and landing big droplets onto ( Read more... )

I dont know what it is or what it was that did it to me. But now you are back..I wasnt ready yet to see you. I dont want to be hurt by you. You invaded my personal space verbally abused me and threatened me. Why when you drink do you think you will you not do it again because I believe you will. What makes you so changed. It was months between both ( Read more... )

Everything has fallen apart, I have fallen apart. I dont want to be where I am anymore. I dont want to be anywhere ( Read more... )

My heart is breaking and I dont know why. i dont know what to do anymore. the pain i feel from months ago when i was so betrayed by you still makes me sick, still hurts my heart and makes me wonder if i will ever learn to believe in anyone again. I try, i try so hard to make things ok but i seem to make things worse and not terrible for anyone else ( Read more... )

You were my life. You looked at me with your beautiful chocolate eyes. You meant the world to me. What am I without you. Everytime I got home you were so excited, excited to just see me, just me.. What will I do without you, my best friend, my heart.

yep thats usually when I write, because I probably wouldnt otherwise..why? well, I can never get it out when I am sober, it is more emotional and real to do it this way. I am one of those ppl who can never tell a story. One of the yeah, this is brilliant and when you get to the punch line everyone is so bored and over what you are saying it isnt ( Read more... )

Lying in your arms and feeling you close to me,
As we lay,
Listening to the rain on the tin roof.

We dont move, we are just breathing,
Your soothing voice makes the world disappear.

And just listening, listening to the silence of the calm,
this is what soothes my soul.

I watch you strumming in the cool night air with rips in your jeans and curls in your hair...
I feel so envious with your husky voice and with mine, so...nothing.
The tears start brewing through the jealousy that I cannot be.

As I sit here I wish I was wasted..that seems to be all I want. I want and I need to be wasted to block out how I feel. I am procrastinating at the moment. I am supposed to be studying for an assignment I just failed yet I cant think about it. I wonder why I thought I could do this ( Read more... )