Sometimes I think that the only real reason people are so interested and shit with Jesus was because he's the one dude who's god complex was completely justified.

Ok so I believe in god/this place/this state of being that exists in some shape or form or dimension and is a big amorphous androgynous blob of warm spiritual plasma-goop that we are all both a part of and separated from. It will probably be red. Its the only way I could rationalize a god, or what it will be like to be one with god once your dead ( Read more... )

I keep finding myself in these crazy (romantic) situations and I thought I would have gotten a grip on this kind of shit by now but I am constantly being humbled. I feel like I have mental blocks and obsessive compulsive ticks that sometimes rule my life more than I do. Playing guitar has become much more than a hobby now. I can't get in and out ( Read more... )

It's nonfiction in second person. I guess that means everything in it is true?

( Broken Daydream Showdown )

I get so worked up when people talk about things, the silliest things. You hear someone say "that's crazy" or "he must be insane" and it doesn't matter, its just a random slip of the tongue anyways, but what are they really getting at? Some existing level of sanity that we all accept? And what is that ( Read more... )

I don't want to be selfish anymore. I've been trying for a long time to change who I am and how I let things affect me, and only until a few days ago have I realized how much anger I've retained throughout the past year. It all happened when I was really high, but it was probably one of the most revealing epiphanies I've had in ages. I can't be ( Read more... )

All I can think to do is keep doing, god I get so tired of having nothing to hold on to. Its not as easy as it seems, or used to be. I have to be responsible, I'm an adult now (sort of, ha) and its high time I quit the selfish teenager thing, the self obsessed overly dramatic introvert that I've crafted for myself ( Read more... )

I can't decide on anything. Just knowing every future relationship I will ever have is marred by my own inabilities, my own disastrous tendencies and willful acts of self mutilation (symbolic, I swear) just tears me to pieces. I haven't decided if I'll ever love again, or if I've ever loved before, for that matter. It's hard to tell what was ( Read more... )

I'm going to be giving up weed for a while. Along with it, I've decided to give up on women. For serious, I'm turning gay.

No, not really. But I need to work myself out of this weed, women, food and sleep lifestyle that I've become accustomed to throughout the years. I need to write more, sing more, do more, live more.

I should really be going to sleep for my final at 8 but I just have so much on my mind. Death is so strange, its so surreal and confusing and I just don't know what to think about it. I admit it, I don't really grasp my own mortality so I'm detached and I feel insecure about it and I don't know what else to do besides sit awake, here, and try to ( Read more... )