monkey
monkey
monkey

It's been a while since writing, which is actually a good sign. Mandy and I somehow, right at reaching rock bottom and me getting to the point I was packed and ready to go, managed to not only make an accord, but over the past few weeks we are suddenly refinding the relationship that seemed lost. We finally ahd one really amazingly good talk the ( Read more... )

How About Not 'Curing' Us, Some Autistics Are Pleading ( Read more... )

Things are going better. Uneasy, but beter. Mandy can be a real jerk alot of teh time, as soon as she gets even a little bit annoyed she pulls out the claws and goes for the jugular. She is hypocritical, unfair, and contradictory...in other words, a typical girl.I too often have trouble biting my tongue ( Read more... )

Woke up in the middle of the night and realized something very clearly...I miss my best friend. That's what's bothered me this whole time, why I've sank deeper and deeper into depression over this last month. Mandy-in-person has no relation to my Mandy from the phone. Yes, it is the same person, but I am not allowed in. She is so far away from me, ( Read more... )

>sighThings are going better. We broke up for about a day, and right now we are trying to find a way to get back together. She said she doesn't think she is ready for a relationship right now (which is fair), but she knows she wants to be with me at some point and she doesn't want to lose me, which is why she was willing to get with me sooner than ( Read more... )

I've given up. Last night I lost control again, wet a bit crazy for a few hours. Dug myself a hole I can never get out of. So easy for me to get frustrated when someone is being so condescending. There is too much between us now. I can't stay and I'm not sure I'm strong enough to leave. I went asleep to heartache and woke up to a dead and hollow ( Read more... )

The last secret I’ll ever keep ( Read more... )

Walking up the old strip brought back a flood of memories. Some of Jana, some of Chris, many of Mandy. I had forgotten until I went inside that me and Mandy had gone to the Carrs up here together the second day I was here. I walked the store, trying to remember some of the events that transpired there. At five thirty, when she showed up at the ( Read more... )

Woke up alone. The house feels so empty. Vivid dreams again, the past interwoven with strange fantasies. I don’t know what I’m doing ( Read more... )