It's funny how in the middle of the night you start to think about things that you would normally never think about otherwise. Charlie will not be home when I get home from work. He still won't be there when I leave for work again, and when I get home again he will be gone again. Starting to notice a pattern. I know we did this last year around ( Read more... )

I posted a blog on Myspace tonight which I'm sure will leave anyone who reads it horribly confused. And it left me unsatisfied...because I couldn't really say what I wanted to say knowing that people might read it who probably shouldn't. This is my safe blog. i know who reads it, and, more importantly, I know who doesn't ( Read more... )

It's ironic that less than 24 hours ago I posted a long list of things that I would never say to his face and then I went ahead and said it all.  I feel better now, like we may be in a better place now.  At least a more honest place.  For better or worse, at lease now he knows where I stand ( Read more... )

It's truth time...time to say the things that I haven't said yet, the things that I probably won't ever really say to him but things I need to get off my chest anyway ( Read more... )

I'm sitting here listening to this song and for the first time really thinking about the lyrics and what they mean. It's actually really deep and I think for the first time, having been through this, I truly understand what it's talking about ( Read more... )

I am horrified. I am humiliated. I'm angry. I'm curious about what really happened and if I will ever know the whole truth, about how you feel about it. I have no one to say this to because it all sounds so stupid that I refuse to say it out loud ( Read more... )

Isn't it funny how our view of things can change in just a couple of weeks. I was reading my last post just to get an idea of when it was (because I can never remember) and realized that it was right after Charlie got his new job. I was right about it definitely being what we need financially, but there are other aspects of it that I never ( Read more... )

I've decided to write this before I give it a title because I have no idea what turn it's going to take. I also don't have any idea when was the last time I wrote in here ( Read more... )

I guess things are going better than the last time I posted. For starters, Charlie and I are getting along much better. Mostly because I decided to drop the job thing temporarily. I was just sick of the fighting and arguing, and it was getting us nowhere so I dropped it for a few days and *poof* we're not fighting anymore ( Read more... )

I'm struck by the sudden realization that knowing someone for a long time doesn't necessarily mean that you know them that well. I just read a story that reminded me of a deep pain I used to feel and I shed a tear for a person being in so much pain that I wasn't even aware of. I kind of feel terrible because I spent so much time wrapped up in ( Read more... )