I miss Cooper. For real. He makes me smile like a retarded kid with a popsicle.*

*I'm assuming mentally handicapped children enjoy popsicles.

Ok, so there's no one online to talk to, and I need a place to just ramble until I feel better.

I'm in the process of dealing with a panic attack. And I'm trying not to cry.

All day I've been smelling weird things. Like, everything has a strange acrid smell to it. Most specifically my hands. I have not touched anything, I cannot locate the smell in ( Read more... )

I have shit to say, but I'm not together enough to actually type it out.  I did just cry a bunch to my sister. I'm just sad about Cooper ( Read more... )

Kind of sucks to hear someone you want to use the 'l-word' with talk about
the girl he already knows he's going to marry.

I just spent like an hour crying in Coopers arms about everything that I wanted to hold in until he left and I could move on with less pain.

I have so much I need to say and I just can't get it out because I just keep crying.

I even broke down in front of my dad. I never let my dad see my cry like that.
He asked me if I was crying this morning and I told him yes and he asked why and I tried to tell him about things and I just couldn't keep it in.

This isn't my depression, this is me being ( Read more... )

I can feel myself being drawn to LJ more and more lately.  I feel the need to write and connect with people past the BS we all put on FB.  LJ seems to be the place best for talking/writing/sharing/getting shit out of my head because the people over herre are actually my friends, ha ( Read more... )

I'm really going to miss Cooper when he leaves.

:(

I love that my sister and my mom...and apparently my dad...resent me for still living at home.  Yet they don't care that until recently the only reason I was living at home was because I was afraid that if I lived by myself there wouldn't be anyone there to stop me from hurting myself.  I'm very afraid to live alone for that reason, but now I feel ( Read more... )

Unless you could see inside my head,
you couldn't possibly understand
I'm happier when things are falling apart at the seems
and you'd never know just by looking at me
and I'm strung out on the future
and burnt out on the past
sometimes I'd rather just burn this place right to the ground

I'm feeling really down and out today ( Read more... )