Ben said he'd be my advisor for my senior work!! omg im so happy i've been avoiding my inbox since i emailed him yesterday to ask and he'd emailed me 20mins later and i wasn't even going to check it before school but a little voice said, nonsense. good news comes to inboxes too. and it really DOES!

i wrote a love poem. its a work in progress because its for a class ( Read more... )

i'm terrible with money. and worse, i get really, really anxious over it. fuck you, ego. but in a joyful way. sartre is wrong because nothing really can mar existence, only move it around. maybe i'm wrong; i've been thinking that he means actual negativity - maybe he really does just mean change, movement, differentiation - potentiality? come back ( Read more... )

ander, make me do a lot of the work when you get back, i'm chubby, and i want to be hotness for you.

so... was pissed off when ALL friends at home went other places when I came home and didn't give a shit to call except trace. had a great night back in nyc, even if it was brooklyn - to all of you that haven't figured out i live in the best place: come visst. you'll figure it out. because i won't be home for awhile. sorry, i'm kindve buzzed. but ( Read more... )

i wish i could cut like 20% of thoughts the way some people cut calories. it never occurs to me to eat less, just to walk more. there are too many delicious things in this city. and its the same thing with thoughts - millions of them, floating around the city like those weird downy feathers in moscow. yeah we think it was actually some sort of ( Read more... )

why can't i sleep? its been a normal day - i slept reasonably well for a reasonably long time, worked, walked, smoked, drank. all the normal things. very little new. how much do we mean anything - we is nonsense talking and me trying to avoid saying things. how much do i ever mean anything i say? forget everything, do i mean anything i say? of ( Read more... )

almost catatonically panicked for just a few moments at a time. like, how much time has passed type of panics. crushing sense that i am responsible for everything. then i remember that i'm only responsible in the sense everyone else is. if the ego screams when you go to combat with it - and it does - what part is it that would rejoice if that word ( Read more... )

i offered to host a philosophy party on the roof. i'm sorry i haven't posted anything about the trip. its not really been a time of reflection since i got home. i love you so much baby.

Hello All,

I am, in fact, alive. However, after posting that everyone should leave me addresses, I proceeded to not get on the internet the entire time I was away. So I'll be sending out postcards today: as promised, you'll receive an awesome postcard, albeit with less than exotic New Jersey postage. More to come.