this is where the fantasy for me ends. no matter how many times i try to change my name, change my future or just simply try to be something, this is where it stops. as what my father has always said, to me has turned out to be nothing but the truth and i have only just realised this after more than 20 years! he always told me i was nothing and ( Read more... )

too tired to care, too far gone to cry

quoque defessus ut tutela , quoque recedentia absentis flere

Well not really obviously..... but thats what I used to say when it was suggested that I wear something revealing, Whether it be short skirts, tight tops or tight jeans etc. Well today is an amazingly huge day for me, as I am going to go and buy my very first EVER bikini today. I'm looking forward to house sitting for an amazing friend, and its ( Read more... )

feeling like i am trapped in a gilded cage at the minute. due to start work at the end of the week. though that wont help me much as minimum of the first 2 weeks wages are to be used on money i owe on bills and hugh. what i am finding it hard to understand is that when i was working 7 days a week to get us through, my money became house money and i ( Read more... )

i am taking time out to try and sort out what i am feeling, this last curve ball has made me realise i need to step back and re-evaluate everything. so much is hurting right now, dont know which is up as everything is coming at me from all sides now. hormones arent helping either, have managed to curl all the baby rage and pain into a dark twisting ( Read more... )

Tired of pain, tired of grieving, tired of feeling, tired of not sleeping, tired of aching, tired of worrying, tired of being used, tired of politics, just too tired........ i quit

(for a while atleast)

just to send huge birthday wishes to a special lady.

happy birthday Gemma xx

Dangerously fucking angry right now...

i got the job!!!!! *does a happy little dance*

GRRR!