"Don't run away from me.
Whatever you do, please don't run away from this."

I can't believe you're real...

Friday night around 1:00 AM I broke onto one of the sound stages in the film village with my friends Lindsay and Brittni.
We set up a few lights and Lindsay modeled for us.


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my friend wrote a rap about me

Cigarette Callie
Smoking in the alley
Taking a break from the movie set

Running with the boys
Playing with camera toys
Gonna be Ellen Kuras but she ain't there yet

Honey, you didn't even make the list.

Its four in the morning
and for some reason
I feel sick to my stomach

I just packed every last bit of everything away
I've got enough clothes to last me through tomorrow and the next day
We'll see after that

I'm not sure why I'm so frustrated
Sometimes all I want
is...

see...I don't even know anymore

The crickets and night birds are screeching louder than my radio
with two of my four windows down driving to a temporary home
from sitting next to you for two hours
in front of two people, 30 feet tall
and in so much love

the moon is smirking down
with yellow teeth from all of our smoke
shaking his head
laughing at how i'll never know what that

I just got really nervous
like cut wires sparking in the bottom of my stomach
what am i doing?

5 days...

perched on that roof
leaning against the paint chips on the window sill
I'm looking out at a lot of things

the next couple of months
the next few years
but wouldn't you know
I can still never see tomorrow

it will be so good
whatever is going to happen
I may never come back...

finally healing up
been running a fever for around 5 days now
can't seem to get things straight in my head

got cloudy thoughts
all mixing together

I need to get out of here.

some photos I've taken recently
color is fuji 400
b&w is kodak

( spring and summer )