I feel nothing at all.

Isolated and numbing with drink & distraction.

Painting thirsty brick.

Ignore him. Ignore the baiting emails.

It’s two now that I’ve not responded to and it feels powerful to make him wonder why and offer to bring me something I haven’t missed in 4 months.

What’s the point of it.

He came to me like a secret winning ticket. Like a lottery won. Like a savior.

Remade a feeling that died in me years ago. Resurrected spark of life&joy&hope.

Hope mostly. My eyes opened. I saw everything new. I saw & felt all technicolor new.

He came hard & fast. And he left hard. And. Fast. Too fast.

Too unexpected and abrupt. After me, reassuring, ( Read more... )

Fuck no. Here we are again. Hello LJ. Remember all the bad times? Remember savory? Hi. It’s me again.

Do you remember our trouble?

Do you remember the pain?

The teenage angst?

Remember it hard and stark naked and here we are again.

Whistling screeching howling wind of feeling- here, again, it is.

Reborn exposed nerves.