Briefly, things of note ( Read more... )

I am damn near 40 years old, and my life has been a battle the entire time. My earliest memories include having the front of my skull crushed, molestation, fists, belts, blood, filth, neglect, and hunger ( Read more... )

You know how it is when you get a song stuck in your head? I always have one stuck in my head. Always. Sometimes it is louder than my own thoughts. During these times I have to act like I really care about my studies, or my work, or the person I am talking to more than the distraction in my own head. I rethink things multiple times on loop to ( Read more... )

Tonight I cannot sleep. For the first time in my life I am disgusted at the life I led before I made my own way. In my mind, all the things in my past are on fire.

Burn it away.

The scars are angry tonight.

OCD update - I am now in Maine. Old Orchard Beach. This place is awesome. I had a bad OCD attack here while I was waiting for my Andria and Juniper to get here. After a bit of online searching I found OCDTribe, which I am happy with, though the format is odd ( Read more... )

So, my wife and I went to lunch the other day. I was compulsed to buy and eat a sandwich directly after eating an enjoyable meal, that I was full from. She asked me if I had to buy it or just wanted to buy it. I told her I had to. She took the card from me and paid for lunch without buying the sandwich ( Read more... )

So. Medications help the depression quite a bit. The OCD, not at all. They might make it worse. Recently I realized that I have multiple tracks running in my head at any given time (which I knew) but what I did not know is that they are often just repeating the same things over and over again ( Read more... )

Recently I have been considering the role that age has on struggle. When I was younger, I noticed that my elders were still fighting battles that in many cases had already been won. I wondered about that. Now that I am older, I realize it is due -of course- to that persons experience ( Read more... )

Feeling better. Therapy going well. I have begun the process of restructuring my imagination. Odd that. Feels good though.

I seriously hate reading this http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000929.htmRead more... )