It's still here, this old thing. I'm afraid to read the old entries. I'm not the same person, but I haven't changed at all, at the "core" if that makes any sense ( Read more... )

Just kidding.


( Read more... )

I feel this thing is no longer doing anything for me, so I think I'm just about done with it. It's certainly been useful, to a degree, but it's starting to lose its effect. I can't seem to vent at all. No amount of writing, smoking, or smacking my head against the wall is going to make me feel better. I'll just have to deal with it.

I don't feel ( Read more... )

I have no idea what's going on.

So...


( Read more... )

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

This word is dead to me now. I will use it in only the most extreme circumstances. Example: I've been hit by a car while out biking. "Oh, fuck... I think a few ribs are broken." Extreme.

In other news, I'm very unhappy. I ( Read more... )

We're actually not being kicked out this time. We're going back up to the old house. Well, where the old house used to be. A new one was built over it months ago, and the guy that bought the land wasn't keeping up on his payments so... it's my mother's again. They came to some sort of a agreement, I guess.

Alright, so I'm feeling kind of bewildered and pretty fuckin' angry. I really don't know how to deal with this situation though.

It's like this: Years ago (presumably around the time I turned 16 or so), my mother put me on disability. I received (not really) some money every month. When I became 18, my mother called SS, and had me go through this ( Read more... )

Well, my 20th birthday is "right around the corner," and I have to say I'm really not looking forward to it. It depresses me a great deal, actually. I'll get over it in a short while ( Read more... )

Yeah, so, she got married. Everything was nice, though it wasn't what I expected. I thought it would be more, well, traditional ( Read more... )

My mother is getting married in less than a week.

Huh.

I'll be there... I guess. I mean, she wants me to be. And uh... I'll be wearing a suit, which will be a first for me.

I don't know much about her fiancé but uh I hope this marriage lasts. My mother actually seems happy with him. I'll assume she's stopped fooling around with that guy ( Read more... )