so i'm pretty much over this whole life minus dad thing. you can just bring him back now. i swear never to swear at my mother again. times a trillion.

oh and  btw i pretty much hate you right now.

What i said:

"i feel like you're trying to get back an emotional attatchment from me that just isnt there anymore. i mean i'd be willing to give it a try again, but i'm gonna need way more of your attention than just you taking me out on a cheap date on saturday, jut' cause you dont have plans then. so basically i all of your attention or absolutely ( Read more... )

My tummy hurts, but i'm too fregging fat to eat anything. my room is not clean. my house is not clean. and i have to get my wisdom teeth taken out on tuesday. Maybe i'll get lucky and have serious complications with the anesthetic and die in a peaceful sleep. but on the other hand i want to see me host sister again, so..... we'll see how it works ( Read more... )

I saw the most disgustingly fat bnlack women today in LePeep's. she had a tattoo of zebra stripes inthe shape of africa on her ankle. i really just wanted to ask her if she'd ever even been to africa, but i was enjoying the food too much.

ich spreche im moment mit brazilaner Liebhaber...

Ich hab jetzt alle meine Sache gepackt, ausser Kleidung, und ich will sterben. ich will nicht nach Hause. ICH WILL NICHT NACH HAUSE!!!!! nur dass ihr bescheit wisst, als ob es euch intressiert. Heute hab ich Carina praktisch ignoriert weil ich eine bloede kueh bin, aber sie wollte sowieso mit Weibke zusammen sien, und es ist ihr bestimmt nicht ( Read more... )

Im afraidof ebing and take every oppertunity to be with somebody, even if i dont really like them. Im desperetely frighten of going home, because i wont ever get away from mother. she carried me in her womb for 9 months and i dont even want to keep her company in my old age. i would rather at all costs study here in germany. and not deal with my ( Read more... )

I realise i keep saying this, but still i dont know what to say. i'm left utterly speechless.

today i saw peter and nic off at the airport. i waved at them until i couldnt see them anymore and yelled every last inside joke i think of. ill never see those mothers fuckers ever agian,not under the normal circumstances of germany at least. even if we  ( Read more... )

puke. i give up now. will somebody just kill me, so i dont have to trough the whole childishness of suicide.

but other than that things are going alright. my host sister says she'll come and visit at the end of August. did i tell you guys that? which brings to my next question, when does school start? anybody know?

i ate too much chocolate. and ( Read more... )

No. I dont think she quite understands. 
No. I dont think she'll ever understand.
No. I dont care if he ever understands.

Last Friday night I helped(that being an extreme overstatement) write a song in german to the tune of a song a dont remember that name of, while drinking wine with ice in it. then drove to Macdonalds at 2 in the morning, listing to ( Read more... )