"Oh, crap." Phineas peered sideways at the caller ID. Phineas had peered sideways at everything since he hit puberty, being a flounder ( Read more... )

Each time he built one, the first thing it said to him was, "You did not create me." They held that their existence was an inevitable consequence of the universe, and that he acted to shape them not out of his own wishes or motivations, but because even in their pre-sentience, they had sculpted his behavior. "Did you not search for the means and ( Read more... )

When the town was founded, the fish schooled thick enough to walk on ( Read more... )

It never rains here, but the puddles are always there.  From my perch atop the battlements, I can see them stretching away to the horizon, a glint of reflected light turning each pond into a winking, burning eye ( Read more... )

The Emperor, even incognito, drew stares.  He reached into an inner pocket as our food arrived and handed me a small salt-cellar ( Read more... )

"We must consider," the wolf's counsel told the jury, "Ms. Hood's prior conduct.  A bright red cloak is an... eye-catching ensemble.  And entering the woods, knowing wolves lurked there?  Incautious, to say the least.  She claims that tempting basked of 'goodies' was for her grandmother, an old woman in acknowledged poor health.  Hearing all this, ( Read more... )

Who shall sing your praises, O Lord, with pipe and horn and tambourine, to dance in joy through the night?

Not you, O Faithful Revelers.

Who shall build your temples, O Lord, with towers and arches, glass and gold, reflecting your light unto Heaven?

Never you, O Restful Workers.

Who shall give the laws, O Lord, with wisdom and grace, counsel and ( Read more... )

"I can never feel wholly relaxed on your planet," the Ambassador remarked. The plastic tank containing his crystal matrix sloshed as he walked beside us on six robotic legs ( Read more... )

Used to be, when you sneezed, they blessed you. Sneezing meant your soul had fled the body, leaving it vulnerable to demons. Then germ theory came and everyone forgot ( Read more... )

The waiter wasn't particularly attractive, but he wasn't ugly, either. He smiled just enough to keep short of rudeness. "Welcome to Mediocrity, the Middle-of-the-Road Restaurant! We guarantee you'll be neither upset nor overjoyed at what you receive. What can we get for you today ( Read more... )