no time like the past to forget. every second, i am so caught up with nothing [everything], three months i cannot understand anymore. and so, i pick myself up as you fall apart again. i know you dont mean it, oh but maybe we should. the one thing that meant so much...is not the same. as i stare and stare, i stare less into you and more into my own ( Read more... )

its fare to say that im more than a little bugged with that "wild at heart" book. its just another one of those books. seriously, this guy made "best christian book of 2003" with just another book about how masculinity has been lost and stolen by modern society. this supposed loss of "masculinity" has apparently lead to increases in divorce rates, ( Read more... )

i have never been so tongue tied in my sleep. in my heart there is little fuel to spare. when you awake each day hoping that when next you slumber your dreams will have partaken of realization, it is a slap in the face to even exist. i am disliking sleep more and more as my dreams mock me to their undying pleasure. its best (worst) to just not ( Read more... )

one i can talk to. one i cant take my mind off of. one i can walk with. one i can lie with in the drive-way. one who definately isnt thinking of me now. one who i love to imagine thinking of me now. so then theres no telling. i am made to wonder. what better way to spend summer nights? [enters michael onto the couch to daydream in front of the ( Read more... )

when i close my eyes, when my lungs are open wide. inside the longing never ends. i want you to stay here with me. on the couch, in the house, in front of the light, under the stars, in front of the cars, around the fire. i buried the thoughts and tried not to notice. i felt so healthy and talked for so long. when i cant stand everyone, theres no ( Read more... )

i am completely mentally emotionally and phsysically exhausted. the past three days have been underwater and in slow motion. all i can think about is nothing.

i had a nightmare where i was reading a book and after reading a line, my eyes shifted to the left and not quite down enough. i was stuck reading the same five words over and over and

oh my Lord, have mercy on me, for my heart skips and trouble is a wave that crashes me into rocks. pour your favor on your servant, oh my God, and do not ignore the desperate cry of your child. silence your enemies with your undying power and allow me to glorify you in every motion. the Lord is my stronghold in whom i have no fear. you calm the ( Read more... )

the vital fluid is drawn, a line in the concrete. the sun is fallen, and with it my efforts to oblige frivolous companionships. amorphous incognition over cliffs and sub-rosa betwixt the radix of a vineyard and the juncture of inclemency. cozenage! cozenage! clandestine antistrophe! take it back. take it back. take it back. take it back. take it ( Read more... )

it puts me to sleep. it is keeping you up right now. youre dying to know both of our true thoughts and motives. do not fear, i was always planning to wait it out. but why, oh why? why do suspect? why is it the last thought before you slumber? am i so obvious? is she letting on to anything? now i am the one your nightmares are keeping awake. if only ( Read more... )

im tired of all the crap. this weekend ive been myself. why cant i be myself around you? theres no telling. youre not telling.