Hi everybody ( Read more... )

I have a crush! This guy has thick, soft hair; strong, comforting hands; a rock-solid body. He is about 25 feet tall and goes by the name of Kong. Man, I LUH HIM!!! Definitely my ideal lover.

P.S.- I also got dibs on Clive Owen. So bitch, don't even try it!

...that is all! I hope none of you found this to be "rather shallow and pedantic!"

I have a slit in my left tonsil sack or something. Every time I inhale a puff of cigarette it stings. Oh great, it is really probably throat cancer. I would not be surprised, considering the way I smoke when I am intoxicated ( Read more... )

The dawning of a new era has forced me to dabble in some new things and develop new, favorite pastimes. You can try them too ( Read more... )

1) Okay, I feel completely humiliated. Last night was my friend Karen's going away party (she is going to study in England at Oxford for five weeks and bring me back a hoody), and I wizzent. Anyways...the point of the story is that her family owns this sweet four-wheeler mobile and Karen, Gunner the dog, and I went for a ride in the bed of the ( Read more... )

I just thought up the most ponderous question:

How does an individual live if the individual is both agoraphobic and claustrophobic?

I think I actually suffer from this condition (no joke)...talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place!

Okay. Here is an honest-to-god true story ( Read more... )

With my 21st year just around the corner, I figured it is about time to plan an itinerary for the rest of my short life. Here are some things that I hope to achieve before I pass on ( Read more... )

I saw the nastiest thing the other day while executing a nice gesture...I was traumatized! I was washing some dishes for a special someone and found a wad of cum in the brillo pad with which I was scrubbing the dishes.

Lindsay just flipped backwards in a La-Z-Boy HAHAHAHA (accidentally).

I definitely have a touch of V.I.P.nis in me.

I think there is a higher power trying to keep me from ending my period of being "between jobs".  I found the ideal job today working for RGIS which is an inventory tracking firm.  I went into the building whose address was 28003 (which I had written down) and it happened to be the address of CVS district headquarters.  I still entered the building ( Read more... )