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[scissor_gypsy]

It's amazing how long you can hide in a cupboard of spanners without being detected, you know. I'm still in here after, what, three hours now. I came into work this afternoon, and just couldn't face the constant giggling and jibes from the women who have something of the airship about them, asking after my lady friend, and my stupid floor manager

Comments

[house_of_jones]

Ack, none of that sounds very good, mate. You need to get yourself out of that sticky pit of a situation. Doesn't sound like it's doing you any good... and it's rubbish to see you having such a bad time.

Fancy a drink or anything? Cheer you up?

[scissor_gypsy]

I'm sort of stuck in the cupboard for the minute, Jones, but thanks for the offer.

And I know I should give the job up, but it's noble work, work that's in my blood, and it's not that it's hard so much that my mind is too cultured to be able to cope with the mind-numbing tedium of it all. And a man has got to pay the rent somehow, too.

Congrats on the new job by the way. I'm very happy for you.

[king_of_mods]

you have a lady friend? huh!

look howard, i know you're always going on about how you're un-appreciated, but it sounds like in this case, you really are. i mean, not letting you take a little writing break, what's that about? we used to take breaks all the time at the zoo, to sing songs or watch colobus on telly, and it was all good.

[scissor_gypsy]

I don't have a lady friend, Vince, that's the point. They won't stop going on about their daughters and things, who no doubt look as frightening and rotund as they do. They thought you were my lady friend for a bit until I set them straight.

Yeah, the zoo was good, wasn't it? We could do whatever we wanted there, even take the afternoon off if we wanted, write a few songs, play table tennis with the animals and things.

[king_of_mods]

you tell 'em, howard, i ain't your lady friend! i'm your flatmate! also your former co-worker, former frontman, former midnight barber, and former boxing trainer.

yeah, the zoo was genius. remember that song about dolphins in love? or what about the songs we performed when we were on the road for pieface showcase? like that one about stevie nicks summoning the white-winged dove of death that destroys all the evil in the world with one cruel swipe of its pearly talons.

[scissor_gypsy]

Ah yes, Stevie and the Claws of Truth and Justice. That was a good one, I liked that line you came up with about how the dove swooped down at night, giving evil starfish crimelords a fright so they passed out and the whelks were bought to freedom. Was that how it went? We never finished that one about ginger biscuits, lord of the biscuit tin, did we?

[not_a_preacher]

You know Howard, I mentioned it before, but if you'd like an outlet for your writing, I'd be happy to help you out with a few contacts. The best art can sometimes come out of the worst situations. You've read Orwell, right?

Now get out of the bloody cupboard and get in touch.

[scissor_gypsy]

I'm not sure that what I write would be appropriate for your publication, you know. I'm not sure your readership would really have a mind to read about the life of hares on Clapham Common or Hungarian jazz in 1975 in the context of communism.

I thank you for your offer of help though. I may have to take you up on that at a later date, perhaps. I'm determined to give this a go first, show them they can't keep Monsoon Moon down.

[naboo_thats_who]

I've got stuff for burns, but I can't afford to be handing out freebies any more. I've just seen the accounts.

Sorry.

[neon_anthrax]

Oi, Howard! I've got something for electro burns if you like!

[scissor_gypsy]

I'm not quite sure that's what I'm after to be honest. I think I'm resigned to having my face look like I've been dealt a terrific electrical mauling. It's a good job I rely on my brains rather than my good looks to get me by in life.

[neon_anthrax]

It was a friendly gesture made in a fit of madness... it won't happen again if that's the way it's taken.

All I meant was that Ultra is occasionally idiotic enough to get smashed in the face with synths... we've gotten rather good at curing the burns.

But if you want your brains left alone to face the world, mate, then I'll sit back and watch if you like.