and the goddesses sent word that
this would be a red letter year
they didn't mention how much shit was gonna change around here
it's just as well we weren't swollen with unfocused dread
we had visions of sugar plums dancing in our heads

oh first you go under and then coming up gives you the bends
and when you break the surface all you can see is your ( Read more... )

post-grad law school is hard.

may not be the smartest move in the world

but it's definitely improving the start of my day

still waiting to start law. i keep procrastinating on doing all the reading by (CRINGE) ..... watching America's Next Top Model on youtube. I know, I know, but until you've seen it, you have no idea how addictive it is. my inner drama queen soaks it up like a sponge. also etsy is a fairly constant distraction ( Read more... )

back into everclear, and for some reason, back into this account. i've been meaning to start writing here again recently, and with today's burst of sheer pissed-off-ness, here i am ( Read more... )

things are slowly getting better. the days get longer and more manageable. there is more sunlight.

i breathe easier. my chest is less tight, my stomach less clenched. i feel elongated, lighter.

time is moving more slowly.

i am thankful.

we were fading like the bottom of a bad dream
we were heading south, looking for a good time
faces look so pretty in the spotlight
all blown out and bathed inside a world of white

sometimes i feel like i am holding it together
sometimes i feel like everything is fine
sometimes i feel like i'm out of control
i feel like i am falling
like my life is on a ( Read more... )

it's been, what, a matter of weeks, and i'm back to being capital-D-depressed again. i don't know whether it's environmental factors, or time-in-my-life factors, or career/relationship factors, or what. i just know i spend too much time in tears, in bed, or wanting to hit myself over the head with a large shovel.

and i have no idea what to do about ( Read more... )

took the evening primrose at around 10pm and woke up smiling this morning. people, this is a miracle drug!

how is it possible for coffee to make SO much difference to my mood?? craziness.

also, spoke with the doc. she recommended evening primrose. now why didn't i think of that, hmm?