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I lay here, in a bed bathed in the light of our powerful grandmother moon, so full that she could burst.  The wind gently pours through the open windows and greets my face with a cool caress.  I can feel her calm.  Today has held all the ingredients for one of the most beautiful days of my life - as all days do, but today is different.  The crystal ( Read more... )

Nine little souls inhabit this place that, for a while, we all call home. Every one of them is huddled off in some nook doing exactly as they wish to be doing. No restlessness, no wandering bored, no rushing, no stress.

I'm happy.

I'm currently sitting in front of my apartment on concrete stairs looking at a concrete parking lot. *bleh!*

Only 24 more days until I'll be sitting on my 3rd story balcony over looking three beautiful lakes with the warm summer breeze coursing through every corner of my lovely new apartment. I am so ready. I checked out of this place the minute ( Read more... )

I have never felt this much anxiety in my life.

Never once, have I had a job that, after every shift, I wanted to quit so badly. It's so difficult for me to pinpoint what exactly about it upsets me so much. I just have this ominous sense that I "do not belong here". I didn't want to do this. I took the job for Joe and for "us", not for me. At all. I ( Read more... )

It seems to me that if the world placed, on their birthday, the emphasis they placed on new years eve, for the same reasons, the world would make just a little more sense to me. ^_^

I mean really, what sense does it make to observe January 1st as the "new year". The new year of what? It doesn't make any sense with the seasons, or any other calendar ( Read more... )

*deep cleansing breath*

These moments, here and now, are the first feelings of relief I've experienced in what feels like an eternity!

I played hookie today. >_< However, I'm pretty sure that I would be crossing over into crazy-world here shortly if I didn't take a moment to reflect and realign. So, guilt, you can just kick rocks! ^_^

I started the ( Read more... )

In my [seemingly] never-ending quest to squash every ounce of pretentiousness out of my perceived person, am I committing the ultimate faux pas of actually causing people to see me as pretentious?

I know that if I were to truly follow Joni's advice, it would ultimately take me further from the things that I want.

Even though she knows it's always been architecture for me, she has subtly tried to change my mind over the years; because she always tells everyone there is no money in it.

[Her life is about money and jesus.]

Now, the problem is ( Read more... )

Its easier for you because you know you're getting what you want. I am terrified I'm risking it all...

But I don't really have a choice now, do I?

I just want to be loved as deeply as I love.

Just when I think a more radical change couldn't occur ...it does.

*sighs*

I'm tired.


( Read more... )