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032: In Which It's Important to Detox
Okay. Okay. I don't care what's gone on in the world of celebrity excess lately, Cynthia can cover all that on her own for once in her life. I'm declaring a spa week, somewhere where every staff is legally required to be at least an eight. Pseudologos, you're invited. Everyone else, not so much. And a couple of you really should be thinking of ( Read more... ) -
031: In Which "Retro Cool" Is Sometimes An Oxymoron
Okay, full disclosure here. The Red Scare? Excellent stuff, one of the best things in the last century. And I really do like some of the fashion, certainly I can't complain about being given things in pinstripes.
But beyond that, and I know you're just clapping your hands with glee, old man, fuck fifties week. If I wanted my apartment clean I'd ( Read more... ) -
030: In Which It's a Nice Day to Start Again
One of my fellow members of the press has a wedding coming up this weekend. Her's, that is to say, not a celebrity's or anything. And so, naturally enough, there was a bachelorette party thrown in her honor just the other day! Expertly done, of course, and I really do hope to attend more than I have been in the future. There's nothing like the sort ( Read more... ) -
029: In Which Same As it Ever Was, Same As it Ever Was
I reall have to say, acting is nice except for the part where you have to actually listen to the director. I mean, I've had drinks with him before and he's perfectly alright, but seriously, how many useless suggestions can one person take on how to "nail" the scene? I've been doing what I do in my scene for thousands of years, I don't need a chubby ( Read more... ) -
028: In Which Credit Is Given Where Credit Is Due
Okay, let's be honest here. Completely objective and all that, ignoring all your hurt feelings and distress and "oh gods, a raptor ate my hand" and all that. That? That was really fucking good. Bravo, Cronus, really. The escalating conflict, the way the hunting party's plan blew up in their collective faces, the graphic death scene... mmm. That's ( Read more... ) -
027: In Which New York New York Does *Not* Seem Like a Hell of a Town
Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.
And no, apartment manager who can't understand why people don't care about him whilst being patronizing as fuck and making yet another irrational judgment call, it's not just you. Apparently between the Oscars and the Michael Jackson fiasco, my editors feel I've taken enough extended vacations ( Read more... ) -
026: In Which We Return to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming
Well, my youth and stunning good looks are back, fucking finally. Alright, alright, monthly Cronus bullshit out of the way, so time to start on the detox process.
Ares; I believe you owe me drinks. Boreas refusing to reply is the same as him being too angry to speak or type.
Pseudologos; I'm willing to pretend it never happened if you're willing ( Read more... ) -
025: In Which Fifty is *Not* the New Thirty [voice, backdated to this morning]
[The recording clicks on presumably by accident. This hypothesis is supported by the fact that Eris' voice is nowhere near any phone or microphone of any kind and is instead trailing around her apartment room in a cacophony of profanity, threats apparently aimed at Cronus, and the sound of various household objects apparently being thrown into ( Read more... ) -
024: In Which Fuck Solitary Confinement
[Private]
Yes, yes, yes, good one. I promise, old man, I'll be thinking of you when I break a bottle over some idiot's head tonight.
[Public]My, there sure are a lot of interesting closets and storage rooms in your average American apartment complex! Who knew? Well, I'm sure I've got a lot of reading to catch up on, but the night isn't officially ( Read more... ) -
023: In Which Citywide Chaos and Panic Is a *Good* Thing [Voice]
Come on, now, someone tell me I'm not the only person enjoying the hell out of this.