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Still here
I've not been very well in the head the last few weeks. But I'm still here.
It hurts though. Being here that is.
I am housesitting for a girl from work and I'm looking after her dog - a cattle dog called Girly. She is hyper but good to cuddle. She's under my bed now.
I see the psychiatrist on Wednesday. I am nervous. I don't want to go. I don't ( Read more... ) -
Material world
My fridge died. Awesome.
I don't have any money to replace it with. Mum and dad are going to buy me a fridge and then I'll pay them back. Still have the credit card bill too.
I hate money.
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Life in dot points
• Parents came Sunday
• Went to church to please Mum and Dad
• Dad had stitches out
• Passed rent inspection
• Folks left
• Work sucked
• Watched a movie involving cannibalism
• Self harmed
• Am now lying in bed feeling anxious and miserable
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Oh my
Just watched Megan is Missing. I feel sick, horrified and shocked.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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Blah blah blah
The end is nigh. Well the end of the working week that is. Four days a week of work definitely trumps five. Hands down.
The folks and brother are here. They got here yesterday, stayed last night and are here for the weekend. It's a very small unit for four people but we get by.
Tomorrow is my birthday, hence the visit. The plan is to go to ( Read more... ) -
Empty
Sometimes I feel so empty it seems I'm going to be swallowed up by the vastness within. Like I'll just combust and disappear into the nothingness.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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Ahhhh
I am jealous and angry and I have no reason. This just makes me more angry.
My cousin is pregnant and that's why I'm feeling like this. I resent her.
Maybe it's because she has friends. Maybe it's because she has a husband and now a baby on the way. Maybe I've always been jealous of her; for being skinny, for being liked. Maybe I'm jealous because ( Read more... ) -
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Tonight I miss the rain. It is too quiet without it.
I freaked out at work today, nearly lost it just because I had to make a call to the doctors surgery. I was shaking, almost crying, feeling sick. I don't know why.
I'm freaking out a lot.
Tomorrow morning I have a psych appointment. I'm anxious about it. I want her to see how much I'm struggling ( Read more... ) -
:(
The pouring rain suits my mood.
I will try and close my eyes and will everything away. Only then, tomorrow will be closer and I don't know to get through tomorrow. It's nothing special, just another day feeling like this...
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.