i think it's been forever since i last updated. i'm not sure why i'm doing this now other than that i'm in a constant state of panic lately and even the last of my insomniac friends have gone to sleep. i can't breathe because it feels like someone is sitting on me. like grace i am paralyzed by everything that must get done in the next few days. ( Read more... )

i have the best boyfriend ever

i haven't updated this in a million years and my arms are really sore from the batting cages, but i'm in stl and there's not much to do so i figured i'd post. this summer has been really good for me so far, i don't want to jinx it but...it's been fun. i am completely broke and about to head to florida with my family for a few days. parley built me ( Read more... )

my apartment is a mess. i drink too much and sleep to little. i haven't updated because i haven't really known what to say. i feel like there is so much going on in my life right now and yet so little is actually happening. its as though i've started staring out the window and while a part of me is incredibly busy, some part of me is still staring ( Read more... )

yeah, it's funny when i'm flirting at the bars...yeah, i'm funny, can't help it. guys from touring bands want to be funny...fuck off. i hate this town, i need to get away otherwise i just won't last.

i need to run away. smart people like leanna might point out that yes, i did just get back from running away, for 4 months. hah. it wasn't enough. tuesday night i had a great time, good show, good friends, etc. i met a guy and hit it off, was really excited about it but yeah, california is a great place to live. there just isn't anyone here for me ( Read more... )

it's storming outside. i feel like i'm missing something but it's right in front of my face. i just don't know. i think at this point new faces and new places would be welcome. there's nowhere to move though.

so it was my birthday. yep. it's over now. and it was pretty much the opposite of what i wanted/expected. i love my friends a lot...however, i think that maybe some of them don't really give a shit about me. oh well. we went to flatbranch and ate, then to eastside where everyone left me because no one else wanted to drink. awesome. however, there ( Read more... )

every time i've said that a night is going to be awesome, it ends up sucking. this makes me worry about my birthday. anticipation is a bitch. tonight i played sober sister and hauled everyone around and supported my friends when they were stumbling. i almost ran out of gas so i dropped everyone off and went to the gas station just as it started ( Read more... )

losing my mind