It still breaks my heart a lot of the time.

Actually, I'm surprised how long it's gone without hurting...

And did I mention, zap zap zap zap zap? Feels (and sounds) like I have a jolt of electricity bursting through my brain every few seconds--more often between two and five jolts now, actually--not to mention every time I move my head, every time I see something moving, and with every loud, unexpected noise I hear. And I'm so so nauseous, too ( Read more... )

Fact. When you control language, you control thought. When you control thought, you control society. When you control society, you control people's lives, people's behavior... you control history itself. If I seem overly concerned about terminology, about language, about rhetoric, about jokes, and about how the media portray certain issues and ( Read more... )

Sometimes. I. Hate. My. Computer.

I was just writing an e-mail. A coming-out e-mail. Long. Hard to write. But it was coming out really well. But halfway through. My computer. Crashed.

I really really really really really really really should know better than to write something like this in my browser instead of composing it in a ( Read more... )

This is something I've been meaning to do for a year and a half ( Read more... )

I haven't gone Christmas shopping yet. At this point, I'm guessing it's not going to happen.

I didn't get my paycheck until Friday. Didn't have enough money to go shopping. Even if I'd had the money, though, I doubt I would have had time. At least I'm not entirely alone in this: apparently no one in my department had gone shopping as of Friday ( Read more... )

A guest reported me to security today. I was working the playground, watching the children and trying very hard not to fall asleep again, when Joe came by and called me over to him. He laughed and told me I needed to "cut my hair" or "look more lively" or something, then explained what he was talking about: apparently a guest had stopped him and ( Read more... )

Somewhere I read a transsexual person saying that he or she didn't like being called brave for transitioning, that transitioning is not a brave thing to do, because there's no bravery in running from a burning house. This is very much it. Transitioning is like a burning house, and all I'm trying to do is escape. Been burning all my life, and ( Read more... )

Now that I have money to spend, I want to buy a book or two I've been looking at for a couple of years now. They're a series of five books published who-knows-how-many-years-ago. Peanuts reference books called Charlie Brown's _____ Super Book of Questions and Answers (the _____ indicating the order in the series... so Charlie Brown's Super Book ( Read more... )

I used to believe myself a good person. I haven't been able to believe that at all for half a year now. In fact, over the last half a year I've believed myself to be one of the most singly horrible people in the world. I can't let myself believe this anymore. I need to believe that I'm a good person again ( Read more... )