RP Log with richandlovingit | Calling in Back Up
[Follows THIS, THIS, THIS and THIS]
As soon as the board meeting was over, Ethan had scooped up as much work as he could into his briefcase and took it all home with him. He felt like he had so much he had to do, and it was just piling in on him. All because he was stuck right in the middle of the recruitment process for some new staff, which seemed to get held up at every turn. At least, according to HR. It wasn't like the hiring and firing was something Ethan actually did personally. He had staff for that too, and just made the final decisions. He could concentrate better at home, and if anyone had a problem, it would have to be a serious and fucking important one for them to try and infiltrate his bubble of concentration. He worked solidly for four hours once he got there and didn't even make a dent in what he had to do. It was going to be a weekened wasted on work. Hopefully Sophie would understand.
He had just been cracking into a fresh bottle of headache pills for his pounding head when Tom's phone call came through. It didn't make any sense, and all Tom needed to say was for Ethan to get over there and Ethan dropped everything and ran. By the time he got there, he was almost feeling sick with worry about what could be wrong. He had built a number of horrible scenarios in his head, including Tom lying at the bottom of the stairs unconscious. Just didn't make sense if Tom was ringing him on the phone. He didn't even bother knocking on Tom's door when he got to the massive Knotting Hill home, he just let himself in, almost going arse over tit on the slippery marble floor of the foyer. "TOM!" he called out, the panicky edge of his tone unable to be hidden.
"In here," Tom called out gruffly from the sitting room. He hadn't moved since he'd called Ethan, and dry tears stained his cheeks. After he'd hung up the flood gates had opened and they'd only stopped a few moments ago. He felt like there was nothing left in him to cry out. He didn't even think there was anything left in him to feel. Stuart hated him, and Tom couldn't live with that knowledge. He'd inadvertently fucked up, and apparently there was no fixing it.
Stuart was at his brother's and Tom had no idea when he was coming back. Or even if he was coming back. Somehow he'd committed the biggest betrayal of Stuart's trust, and it hadn't even been intentional. Tom would have told Stuart about Liam eventually, but the timing had never seemed right. It wasn't even as if there was much to tell. They had been friends, and they had fucked. It was hardly epic love. It was hardly what he and Stuart had.
He rubbed his hand over his face, and tried to wet his lips. "Grab alcohol on your way," Tom added.
"No," Ethan replied as he appeared in the doorway of the living room with a deep, concerned frown on his face. "I'm not letting you near booze, you'll just make yourself sick." He pulled off his coat and threw it over the back of the closest chair. "What's going on? What happened?" he asked, breaching the gap between them. He shoved some magazines off the coffee table and sat down on the edge of it so he could be facing Tom, making it more difficult for his best friend to break any eye contact. Looking over Tom's face, it didn't take a genius to see something was really, really wrong. "Where's Stuart?"
"Iain's," Tom murmured in reply and tried not to glare at Ethan for not letting him near alcohol. "No fucking cup of tea is going to fix this. I need somethng stronger." He didn't glare, but he did give Ethan a look as he huffed out a breath. "He fucked off after discovering my home-made porn starring your brother-in-law... He hates me. He's mad at me for something that happened in the past. He's gone."
Ethan tried to read between then lines, now that the frown was there it was hard to shake. Only, now it was one of concentration as he tried to piece together all the parts of the puzzle. Something wasn't sitting right in Tom's explanation. "He doesn't hate you. Since when do you play the drama queen card? He's pissed off because he loves you, mate," he began and then drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Okay, right. Devil's Advocate... just, if you're going to thump me and project any frustrated anger at me, aim below the neck or Sophie will kill you. One, you should've told him about Liam. Finding a movie of you two fucking was never going to go down well. No matter how much you tilt your head and squint and try to look at it differently. Two, Liam technically isn't past. He's still part of your life. He's my brother-in-law, and it was important to you for Stuart to get along with me, and my family, which includes Soph and her family. Three, what aren't you telling me?"
Tom tugged at his hair in frustration and held his hand up as his stomach churned and he really wasn't sure if he was going to vomit or not. The sickness in his gut had been there since Stuart got home, and it just wasn't letting up. He got up as quickly as he could without hurting himself again and made a dash for the kitchen area so he could throw up in the sink. It was quicker than getting to the bathroom. Perspiration covered Tom's brow as he gripped the sink tight enough to turn his knuckles white and it was a moment before he came back in to Ethan with a glass of water in his hand. "Jess saw us. Me and Liam." He was starting to sound choked up and Tom realised there really was more tears that could come out. "He came to the office today. He was just checking up on me and asking about my wound. He asked if he could see it, examine it - I wasn't going to turn him down. He knows his shit. Only Jess walked in at the wrong moment. Fuck... I think I'm going to be sick again. I fucking hate today. This is even worse than the sodding accident. I'm awake for this."
Ethan bit back any arguments about it fucking not being worse than the accident. The last thing anyone needed was them both on edge. They had ended up in fist-fights in the past when that happened. Instead, Ethan stood and squeezed Tom's shoulder briefly before disappearing out of the room. He returned a few short moments later with a bucket from the kitchen cupboard and a bottle of Pepto. It afforded him a short amount of time to process what Tom had said. The low-down seemed to be that Stuart had seen the DVD simultaneous to Jess getting the wrong end of the stick about... whatever it was in Tom's office. He gently pushed Tom back into the chair, making it difficult for him to protest the action and then sat again himself. "Did you set her straight?" he asked quietly, holding Tom's gaze. It might not seem like a lot, but it was a vital question. If no one set the record straight as soon as it bounced off path, the shit could be about to severely hit the fan. "Because if Stu is already pissed at you about the porn, and this gets back to him, what do you think he's going to think?"
"He's going to think I'm fucking around on him, and I'm not. She bolted out of the office and I got up to stop her and ripped my side. It was too fucking painful to keep going after her. Liam tried, but she got in the lift before he could catch her and he stupidly fucking came back." Tom took a deep breath but only got half way through it before he was throwing up spectacularly into the bucket. He'd never suffered from stress as much as he did now. Nothing had ever gotten to him like this before the accident. So maybe this wasn't worse than the accident, but it wasn't far behind. If that prick driver wasn't already out of the picture Tom would have killed him himself. He'd ruined his fucking life. They were all still suffering from the ripple effect. "It gets worse."
Ethan rested his fingers against his lips, watching Tom throw up. It wasn't like it was just a bit, it would be enough to turn anyone's stomach. Ethan wasn't the doctor in the family, he still managed to get squeamish. Luckily he was used to seeing Tom in similar conditions to this. Anyone else, and Ethan would probably be going out in sympathy by now. "He's a doctor, what did you expect him to do? If you were hurt or in pain, he wasn't just going to leave you. He probably just figured he could get to Jess once he knew you were okay." He was already taking his mobile out of his pocket, punching in a quick text to Soph to ask if she had seen Jess, or even Liam. But as soon as he hit send, his blue eyes flicked up uncertainly. "How could it be worse? Please don't tell me something did actually happen? How could it get more worse?"
"Of course nothing happened," Tom breathed out after he'd stopped sticking his head in the bucket. He wiped the back of his hand over his forehead and nursed the bucket between his knees. He hadn't meant to lose it in front of Ethan, but there was no one else he wanted here right now. No one that wasn't a Scot copper, anyway. He looked at his best friend helplessly really not sure how he was supposed to pull it together. Just when his world had started to pull back together, it was all unravelling again. "Angus had an appointment. He was waiting for me when Jess bolted and Liam followed. I didn't even think of it until Liam was ready to drive me home. Angus wasn't in reception when we left."
Ethan realised he wasn't the one directly in the shit here, but he paled dramatically at Tom's additional revelation. "He what? Where did he go? What happened?" His phone buzzed in his hand and he numbly brought Sophie's message up. "She hasn't seen either of them... Tom, mate, this is... what do you want me to do? Go over there? Talk to Stuart? Talk to Angus? What the hell did Jess think she was seeing, anyway? Did Liam have you bent over the desk? I just don't get it." He threaded his fingers through his hair. "Why the hell did you film yourself with Liam, anyway?" he added as an afterthought, realising now how it felt to be turfed in the deep end right in the middle of a shit pile.
Tom rubbed his fingers against his mouth as he tried to make sure there was no evidence of sick. "I don't know. I never saw him. Liam wasn't even sure he'd seen him until I asked, and he realised there had been someone out of the corner of his eye. Fuck, what if he spoke to Jess? I don't know what I want you to do, I just needed to tell someone. I was going to tell Stuart. I was going to tell him everything but then he was here and he was yelling, and playing the fucking DVD and I just felt like a dick splash. Worse than a disk splash. Liam was down on his knees in front of me because I was sitting. She must have thought he was blowing me. I would never do that to Stuart. I just wouldn't. I love him, Ethan. I love him more than anything." Tom sighed as his shoulders slumped. "Back then I just filmed everyone. Now I just want to burn the whole fucking lot. Jules and Kenzie must have gotten into them before Stuart."
Ethan reached out and squeezed Tom's knee, the first part of him he could connect with. "I know. I know, okay? You don't have to convince me. I'm your best mate, I know you would never do that to him, not after everything. And the fucked up thing is, he wouldn't either without the DVD. But that's all that'll be in his head right now if he was really that hurt by it. It's probably playing over and over in his mind. If Jess said something to Angus, and Angus tells Stuart, it's going to be a domino effect. I wish I knew what to suggest to fix it, but I don't. I can only think that you should go to Stuart, no matter how angry he is. Hope Angus hasn't gotten there first. Even just hearing Liam was alone with you in your office after the movie could fuck things up. It's just... Liam's you, maybe eight years ago. Relationships are beyond him. As much as I want to be pissed at him for this right now, I can't. He really is like a kid brother to me now. He's going to be devastated if he realises how much this all could have fucked you over. He cares about you."
"I care about him," Tom admitted quietly. "But he is just a friend. He's always been a friend. He cuts my fucking hair! We talk about things. He was just trying to help. I know the DVD was a mistake, but that was me nearly a year ago. I was definitely a different guy back then. All this bullshit behaviour is over for me. I've had my Liam years. I don't deny him his, but he's young enough to have them. He's not up to settling down. I just don't want to have to stop talking to him because of this. I'm just not sure how I can keep talking to him though while Stuart thinks the worse." He shifted on the couch, willing his stomach to settle. "I'm scared to talk to Stuart. I can't help it. I don't want to find out what happens if he has talked to Angus already."
Ethan more than knew what it was like to be totally innocent of something and someone think you weren't. His whole chase with Sophie had been just that, and he was always being accused in the media of being a cheating bastard, or the like. He should be immune, but as he sat here realising that Tom could be about to lose the best thing that ever happened to him because of an error in judgment and bad timing, his own stomach clenched with a discontent sick feeling. Stuart was Tom's Sophie, and now the whole relationship was hanging precariously in the balance. Ethan understood why Stuart was so upset, too. He had sat vigil at Tom's bedside thinking he was dying, then nursed him back to health. To find out something like this was a low blow. Hearing what Jess perceived could take him down with a crash, and it might not be something the relationship could recover from. "What do you want me to do? I can talk to him. I'll go over there. I can only try. Or maybe Sophie can? Angus was... he was the most forceful with you not hurting Stuart. He might've already told him."
Tom's head fell back against the couch and he set the bucket next to him as he just slumped down. "I need to be the one to talk to Stuart... It has to be me. Even if, even if it's the end it still has to come from me. I owe him that much. I shouldn't let you do my talking. He'll just assume I've sent him because I am guilty, and can't face him. I think I need you to talk to Angus. Or talk to Jess. Just talk to one of them because this is going to spread like wildfire once Stuart finds out. There'll be no hiding it. I can't talk to Jess. I think because underneath everything I'm just... disappointed. I understand that things must have looked dodgy, but she could have waited to find out the truth. She didn't. She jumped to the worst assumption possible, and I'm sad that she truly believes I'm capable of that. That her own brother's capable of it." He shrugged a shoulder and looked at Ethan. "I just need to fix it."
Ethan pursed his lips and his features hardened a little. "Bit late to start crying over spilt reputations, mate," he had to say. "This is not Jess' fault, and it's not fair of you to lay blame at her feet. You fucked Liam, you filmed it. You fucked half the gay community in London before that, and filmed it also. It stings, I know. But sometimes you just gotta wear the shit that you've walked around in. Trust me, I know. When it comes to the crunch and it's time to settle down, it's gonna come back to bite you on the arse. It's just how you deal with it and cope with it that makes the difference. Liam was on his knees between your legs, in a closed office, when she has no idea about your past with him. What else was she supposed to think? What would you think if you walked in on Stuart and Gee, her with him pressed up against a wall? You would think the worst. It's human nature. Don't you dare fuck her over with this. She doesn't deserve it. She's worked her arse off trying to keep things running smoothly with your business while you were off. I love you, mate, but she's my sister-in-law. Because you know what? You are capable of that. Were capable of it. Now is when you need to prove you've changed and you're not that guy anymore. Prove them all wrong."
"I don't know how to do that," Tom admitted in a whisper. "I'm sorry about Jess. I am. I seriously wish she hadn't... No one knows about Liam. No one but you. Now the whole fucking lot are going to know, and it's just going to... People do think the worst. How the hell am I supposed to battle against it when people are so willing to just make the worst assumptions?"
Ethan swallowed and gave a small shrug. "I don't know. I just know I wanted to marry her, and that she was everything to me. Somehow, you just... have to find a reason to convince him, mate. You gotta find your way, just like I did with Sophie. For me, it was just about forgetting everyone else and only seeing her. I would've stood on top of the London Bridge and signed my life to her in blood if that's what it took to prove it to her, to convince her."
Tom got up off the couch gingerly and moved around Ethan and the coffee table to get to the DVD cabinet. He pulled out all the porn DVDs and brought them over to dump them into the bucket of vomit with a grunt. No porn was worth his relationship. None of the memories were more precious than the ones he'd been creating with Stuart. And all the memories that were going to come. "I think I've lost enough blood for him," he said quietly. "I just want to be the one to take care of him. For the rest of our lives."
Another text came through from Sophie. She wanted to know what was going on, and why he was abruptly asking about Jess and Liam. He didn't blame her, it was so out of the blue it didn't make sense. He rubbed his fingers over his forehead and looked at the screen, not replying straight away. He looked up and met Tom's eyes again. "Then go convince him you aren't what's in those movies anymore. Help him to understand. Apologise for not telling him. You fucked up on the ex factor, mate. Happens to the best of us. Just remember, he's still hurting over what happened too. It might not be physical pain, but it's still there. He fought for your innocence when no one else could."
Tom gave a nod. "Can you just... Can you just get rid of the bucket for me? Please? Double check I didn't miss any DVDs. I don't want this shit anymore. Just toss it all in the rubbish bin outside. I'll get another bucket later. And go home to your wife, mate. Just thanks for coming, yeah? I don't know what I'd do without you." Tom still looked like shit, and he didn't care how mismatched he was with his boots, trackies, t-shirt and trenchcoat that he pulled off a chair and pulled on without thinking. "Wish me luck?"
Ethan nodded a little but didn't verbalise the sentiment. He didn't believe in luck in that sense. Tom wasn't going out to buy a lottery ticket, he was going to try and make sure his life wasn't ruined. Luck was probably going to have very little to do with it. He couldn't shake the horrible sensation in his stomach that the shit was about to hit the fan, either. He could only hope that Tom had the strength to fight through it. He wasn't sure Stuart would, not emotionally, anyway. "We'll drive you. It's raining outside," he murmured, standing and picking up his coat. If nothing else, he could at least prevent Tom getting wrapped around another pole.
As soon as the board meeting was over, Ethan had scooped up as much work as he could into his briefcase and took it all home with him. He felt like he had so much he had to do, and it was just piling in on him. All because he was stuck right in the middle of the recruitment process for some new staff, which seemed to get held up at every turn. At least, according to HR. It wasn't like the hiring and firing was something Ethan actually did personally. He had staff for that too, and just made the final decisions. He could concentrate better at home, and if anyone had a problem, it would have to be a serious and fucking important one for them to try and infiltrate his bubble of concentration. He worked solidly for four hours once he got there and didn't even make a dent in what he had to do. It was going to be a weekened wasted on work. Hopefully Sophie would understand.
He had just been cracking into a fresh bottle of headache pills for his pounding head when Tom's phone call came through. It didn't make any sense, and all Tom needed to say was for Ethan to get over there and Ethan dropped everything and ran. By the time he got there, he was almost feeling sick with worry about what could be wrong. He had built a number of horrible scenarios in his head, including Tom lying at the bottom of the stairs unconscious. Just didn't make sense if Tom was ringing him on the phone. He didn't even bother knocking on Tom's door when he got to the massive Knotting Hill home, he just let himself in, almost going arse over tit on the slippery marble floor of the foyer. "TOM!" he called out, the panicky edge of his tone unable to be hidden.
"In here," Tom called out gruffly from the sitting room. He hadn't moved since he'd called Ethan, and dry tears stained his cheeks. After he'd hung up the flood gates had opened and they'd only stopped a few moments ago. He felt like there was nothing left in him to cry out. He didn't even think there was anything left in him to feel. Stuart hated him, and Tom couldn't live with that knowledge. He'd inadvertently fucked up, and apparently there was no fixing it.
Stuart was at his brother's and Tom had no idea when he was coming back. Or even if he was coming back. Somehow he'd committed the biggest betrayal of Stuart's trust, and it hadn't even been intentional. Tom would have told Stuart about Liam eventually, but the timing had never seemed right. It wasn't even as if there was much to tell. They had been friends, and they had fucked. It was hardly epic love. It was hardly what he and Stuart had.
He rubbed his hand over his face, and tried to wet his lips. "Grab alcohol on your way," Tom added.
"No," Ethan replied as he appeared in the doorway of the living room with a deep, concerned frown on his face. "I'm not letting you near booze, you'll just make yourself sick." He pulled off his coat and threw it over the back of the closest chair. "What's going on? What happened?" he asked, breaching the gap between them. He shoved some magazines off the coffee table and sat down on the edge of it so he could be facing Tom, making it more difficult for his best friend to break any eye contact. Looking over Tom's face, it didn't take a genius to see something was really, really wrong. "Where's Stuart?"
"Iain's," Tom murmured in reply and tried not to glare at Ethan for not letting him near alcohol. "No fucking cup of tea is going to fix this. I need somethng stronger." He didn't glare, but he did give Ethan a look as he huffed out a breath. "He fucked off after discovering my home-made porn starring your brother-in-law... He hates me. He's mad at me for something that happened in the past. He's gone."
Ethan tried to read between then lines, now that the frown was there it was hard to shake. Only, now it was one of concentration as he tried to piece together all the parts of the puzzle. Something wasn't sitting right in Tom's explanation. "He doesn't hate you. Since when do you play the drama queen card? He's pissed off because he loves you, mate," he began and then drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Okay, right. Devil's Advocate... just, if you're going to thump me and project any frustrated anger at me, aim below the neck or Sophie will kill you. One, you should've told him about Liam. Finding a movie of you two fucking was never going to go down well. No matter how much you tilt your head and squint and try to look at it differently. Two, Liam technically isn't past. He's still part of your life. He's my brother-in-law, and it was important to you for Stuart to get along with me, and my family, which includes Soph and her family. Three, what aren't you telling me?"
Tom tugged at his hair in frustration and held his hand up as his stomach churned and he really wasn't sure if he was going to vomit or not. The sickness in his gut had been there since Stuart got home, and it just wasn't letting up. He got up as quickly as he could without hurting himself again and made a dash for the kitchen area so he could throw up in the sink. It was quicker than getting to the bathroom. Perspiration covered Tom's brow as he gripped the sink tight enough to turn his knuckles white and it was a moment before he came back in to Ethan with a glass of water in his hand. "Jess saw us. Me and Liam." He was starting to sound choked up and Tom realised there really was more tears that could come out. "He came to the office today. He was just checking up on me and asking about my wound. He asked if he could see it, examine it - I wasn't going to turn him down. He knows his shit. Only Jess walked in at the wrong moment. Fuck... I think I'm going to be sick again. I fucking hate today. This is even worse than the sodding accident. I'm awake for this."
Ethan bit back any arguments about it fucking not being worse than the accident. The last thing anyone needed was them both on edge. They had ended up in fist-fights in the past when that happened. Instead, Ethan stood and squeezed Tom's shoulder briefly before disappearing out of the room. He returned a few short moments later with a bucket from the kitchen cupboard and a bottle of Pepto. It afforded him a short amount of time to process what Tom had said. The low-down seemed to be that Stuart had seen the DVD simultaneous to Jess getting the wrong end of the stick about... whatever it was in Tom's office. He gently pushed Tom back into the chair, making it difficult for him to protest the action and then sat again himself. "Did you set her straight?" he asked quietly, holding Tom's gaze. It might not seem like a lot, but it was a vital question. If no one set the record straight as soon as it bounced off path, the shit could be about to severely hit the fan. "Because if Stu is already pissed at you about the porn, and this gets back to him, what do you think he's going to think?"
"He's going to think I'm fucking around on him, and I'm not. She bolted out of the office and I got up to stop her and ripped my side. It was too fucking painful to keep going after her. Liam tried, but she got in the lift before he could catch her and he stupidly fucking came back." Tom took a deep breath but only got half way through it before he was throwing up spectacularly into the bucket. He'd never suffered from stress as much as he did now. Nothing had ever gotten to him like this before the accident. So maybe this wasn't worse than the accident, but it wasn't far behind. If that prick driver wasn't already out of the picture Tom would have killed him himself. He'd ruined his fucking life. They were all still suffering from the ripple effect. "It gets worse."
Ethan rested his fingers against his lips, watching Tom throw up. It wasn't like it was just a bit, it would be enough to turn anyone's stomach. Ethan wasn't the doctor in the family, he still managed to get squeamish. Luckily he was used to seeing Tom in similar conditions to this. Anyone else, and Ethan would probably be going out in sympathy by now. "He's a doctor, what did you expect him to do? If you were hurt or in pain, he wasn't just going to leave you. He probably just figured he could get to Jess once he knew you were okay." He was already taking his mobile out of his pocket, punching in a quick text to Soph to ask if she had seen Jess, or even Liam. But as soon as he hit send, his blue eyes flicked up uncertainly. "How could it be worse? Please don't tell me something did actually happen? How could it get more worse?"
"Of course nothing happened," Tom breathed out after he'd stopped sticking his head in the bucket. He wiped the back of his hand over his forehead and nursed the bucket between his knees. He hadn't meant to lose it in front of Ethan, but there was no one else he wanted here right now. No one that wasn't a Scot copper, anyway. He looked at his best friend helplessly really not sure how he was supposed to pull it together. Just when his world had started to pull back together, it was all unravelling again. "Angus had an appointment. He was waiting for me when Jess bolted and Liam followed. I didn't even think of it until Liam was ready to drive me home. Angus wasn't in reception when we left."
Ethan realised he wasn't the one directly in the shit here, but he paled dramatically at Tom's additional revelation. "He what? Where did he go? What happened?" His phone buzzed in his hand and he numbly brought Sophie's message up. "She hasn't seen either of them... Tom, mate, this is... what do you want me to do? Go over there? Talk to Stuart? Talk to Angus? What the hell did Jess think she was seeing, anyway? Did Liam have you bent over the desk? I just don't get it." He threaded his fingers through his hair. "Why the hell did you film yourself with Liam, anyway?" he added as an afterthought, realising now how it felt to be turfed in the deep end right in the middle of a shit pile.
Tom rubbed his fingers against his mouth as he tried to make sure there was no evidence of sick. "I don't know. I never saw him. Liam wasn't even sure he'd seen him until I asked, and he realised there had been someone out of the corner of his eye. Fuck, what if he spoke to Jess? I don't know what I want you to do, I just needed to tell someone. I was going to tell Stuart. I was going to tell him everything but then he was here and he was yelling, and playing the fucking DVD and I just felt like a dick splash. Worse than a disk splash. Liam was down on his knees in front of me because I was sitting. She must have thought he was blowing me. I would never do that to Stuart. I just wouldn't. I love him, Ethan. I love him more than anything." Tom sighed as his shoulders slumped. "Back then I just filmed everyone. Now I just want to burn the whole fucking lot. Jules and Kenzie must have gotten into them before Stuart."
Ethan reached out and squeezed Tom's knee, the first part of him he could connect with. "I know. I know, okay? You don't have to convince me. I'm your best mate, I know you would never do that to him, not after everything. And the fucked up thing is, he wouldn't either without the DVD. But that's all that'll be in his head right now if he was really that hurt by it. It's probably playing over and over in his mind. If Jess said something to Angus, and Angus tells Stuart, it's going to be a domino effect. I wish I knew what to suggest to fix it, but I don't. I can only think that you should go to Stuart, no matter how angry he is. Hope Angus hasn't gotten there first. Even just hearing Liam was alone with you in your office after the movie could fuck things up. It's just... Liam's you, maybe eight years ago. Relationships are beyond him. As much as I want to be pissed at him for this right now, I can't. He really is like a kid brother to me now. He's going to be devastated if he realises how much this all could have fucked you over. He cares about you."
"I care about him," Tom admitted quietly. "But he is just a friend. He's always been a friend. He cuts my fucking hair! We talk about things. He was just trying to help. I know the DVD was a mistake, but that was me nearly a year ago. I was definitely a different guy back then. All this bullshit behaviour is over for me. I've had my Liam years. I don't deny him his, but he's young enough to have them. He's not up to settling down. I just don't want to have to stop talking to him because of this. I'm just not sure how I can keep talking to him though while Stuart thinks the worse." He shifted on the couch, willing his stomach to settle. "I'm scared to talk to Stuart. I can't help it. I don't want to find out what happens if he has talked to Angus already."
Ethan more than knew what it was like to be totally innocent of something and someone think you weren't. His whole chase with Sophie had been just that, and he was always being accused in the media of being a cheating bastard, or the like. He should be immune, but as he sat here realising that Tom could be about to lose the best thing that ever happened to him because of an error in judgment and bad timing, his own stomach clenched with a discontent sick feeling. Stuart was Tom's Sophie, and now the whole relationship was hanging precariously in the balance. Ethan understood why Stuart was so upset, too. He had sat vigil at Tom's bedside thinking he was dying, then nursed him back to health. To find out something like this was a low blow. Hearing what Jess perceived could take him down with a crash, and it might not be something the relationship could recover from. "What do you want me to do? I can talk to him. I'll go over there. I can only try. Or maybe Sophie can? Angus was... he was the most forceful with you not hurting Stuart. He might've already told him."
Tom's head fell back against the couch and he set the bucket next to him as he just slumped down. "I need to be the one to talk to Stuart... It has to be me. Even if, even if it's the end it still has to come from me. I owe him that much. I shouldn't let you do my talking. He'll just assume I've sent him because I am guilty, and can't face him. I think I need you to talk to Angus. Or talk to Jess. Just talk to one of them because this is going to spread like wildfire once Stuart finds out. There'll be no hiding it. I can't talk to Jess. I think because underneath everything I'm just... disappointed. I understand that things must have looked dodgy, but she could have waited to find out the truth. She didn't. She jumped to the worst assumption possible, and I'm sad that she truly believes I'm capable of that. That her own brother's capable of it." He shrugged a shoulder and looked at Ethan. "I just need to fix it."
Ethan pursed his lips and his features hardened a little. "Bit late to start crying over spilt reputations, mate," he had to say. "This is not Jess' fault, and it's not fair of you to lay blame at her feet. You fucked Liam, you filmed it. You fucked half the gay community in London before that, and filmed it also. It stings, I know. But sometimes you just gotta wear the shit that you've walked around in. Trust me, I know. When it comes to the crunch and it's time to settle down, it's gonna come back to bite you on the arse. It's just how you deal with it and cope with it that makes the difference. Liam was on his knees between your legs, in a closed office, when she has no idea about your past with him. What else was she supposed to think? What would you think if you walked in on Stuart and Gee, her with him pressed up against a wall? You would think the worst. It's human nature. Don't you dare fuck her over with this. She doesn't deserve it. She's worked her arse off trying to keep things running smoothly with your business while you were off. I love you, mate, but she's my sister-in-law. Because you know what? You are capable of that. Were capable of it. Now is when you need to prove you've changed and you're not that guy anymore. Prove them all wrong."
"I don't know how to do that," Tom admitted in a whisper. "I'm sorry about Jess. I am. I seriously wish she hadn't... No one knows about Liam. No one but you. Now the whole fucking lot are going to know, and it's just going to... People do think the worst. How the hell am I supposed to battle against it when people are so willing to just make the worst assumptions?"
Ethan swallowed and gave a small shrug. "I don't know. I just know I wanted to marry her, and that she was everything to me. Somehow, you just... have to find a reason to convince him, mate. You gotta find your way, just like I did with Sophie. For me, it was just about forgetting everyone else and only seeing her. I would've stood on top of the London Bridge and signed my life to her in blood if that's what it took to prove it to her, to convince her."
Tom got up off the couch gingerly and moved around Ethan and the coffee table to get to the DVD cabinet. He pulled out all the porn DVDs and brought them over to dump them into the bucket of vomit with a grunt. No porn was worth his relationship. None of the memories were more precious than the ones he'd been creating with Stuart. And all the memories that were going to come. "I think I've lost enough blood for him," he said quietly. "I just want to be the one to take care of him. For the rest of our lives."
Another text came through from Sophie. She wanted to know what was going on, and why he was abruptly asking about Jess and Liam. He didn't blame her, it was so out of the blue it didn't make sense. He rubbed his fingers over his forehead and looked at the screen, not replying straight away. He looked up and met Tom's eyes again. "Then go convince him you aren't what's in those movies anymore. Help him to understand. Apologise for not telling him. You fucked up on the ex factor, mate. Happens to the best of us. Just remember, he's still hurting over what happened too. It might not be physical pain, but it's still there. He fought for your innocence when no one else could."
Tom gave a nod. "Can you just... Can you just get rid of the bucket for me? Please? Double check I didn't miss any DVDs. I don't want this shit anymore. Just toss it all in the rubbish bin outside. I'll get another bucket later. And go home to your wife, mate. Just thanks for coming, yeah? I don't know what I'd do without you." Tom still looked like shit, and he didn't care how mismatched he was with his boots, trackies, t-shirt and trenchcoat that he pulled off a chair and pulled on without thinking. "Wish me luck?"
Ethan nodded a little but didn't verbalise the sentiment. He didn't believe in luck in that sense. Tom wasn't going out to buy a lottery ticket, he was going to try and make sure his life wasn't ruined. Luck was probably going to have very little to do with it. He couldn't shake the horrible sensation in his stomach that the shit was about to hit the fan, either. He could only hope that Tom had the strength to fight through it. He wasn't sure Stuart would, not emotionally, anyway. "We'll drive you. It's raining outside," he murmured, standing and picking up his coat. If nothing else, he could at least prevent Tom getting wrapped around another pole.