i don't know.

how i can cope

i'm sorry

but i don't know if i can do this anymore

everyone keeps tell me i need to just get out of this town and go to college + everything will be better.

but i don't think so

how can someone get others to like her, when she is just fucked up not matter the situation.

1st Hour-French IV H, Lassau ( Read more... )

I start school at St. Teresa tommorow. I don't know what I can say that is remotely positive. Everything would be okay, but I have no idea where I want to go to college. Columbia or Knox? Knox or Webster? Webster or Columbia? I'm all mixed up. I would be going to columbia knowing no one. That is a big deal bc, at Columbia I would need to rent an ( Read more... )

okay, here is a lovely survey for all of you to take. hint: TAKE IT ( Read more... )

Spent the afternoon with Jeremy (I will refer to him as Germ from now on). Germ is 22, goes to millikin, and is a chem major. He is super hot and extra super smart. He looks a bit like justin timberlake, except dark hair. I like him a lot. I don't think we'll hang out for awhile, but this afternoon was fun. I don't understand why he hung out with ( Read more... )

i hate it when someone uses the word love liberally. a good example is when someone tells everyone they slightly know they love them. its just annoying because the more love is given out without it meaning anything, you lessen the meaning of love. i remember reading something interesting in my 8th grade health book. Love was defined in the book ( Read more... )

I'm at a party. At a friend's house. I'm chatting with someone, but I'm quite bored. Most parties in Decatur bore me bc I like to be drunk with smart people, not stupid ones. I went because I was feeling rather lonely and pathetic. I also wanted cock. Fairly simple. Well ( Read more... )

all this isolation is getting to me. i go back to school tommorow. i am making myself physically sick i'm so upset about it. i haven't been this upset in a long time. with work added to it, im about to have a mental meltdown. in fact, i think i am having a drawn out panic attack.

I don't think my mom, aunt laura, father or maternal grandmother realize how much their words sting. Their intention was to make me tough and less arrogant. But, I was never arrogant and weak before. I don't see the point. All their verbal abuse did was make me very, very insecure. My mom also trained me to be afraid of life so I would want her ( Read more... )