im desperate for the feeling of being wanted ( Read more... )

poetic words have failed to fall from these lips once more.the doctors are wrong again ( Read more... )

hold your head high, heavy heart.

how can you hold your head so high when your heart is too heavy for your legs to carry?
how can you know that the person you think loves you, doesnt anymore?
i cant tell whats going through his head.
i dont know what to do to make everything like before.
i dont know what i did to mess things up.
all i hear is " ( Read more... )

i lay in the bath tub.
hot water running.
running until it hits the corners of my eyes.
and i stare at the ceiling thinking of how unhappy i am.
fuck these cycles i go through.
this isnt one of them.
these pills are making a wall that i cant get through.
i can describe how this feels.
im constantly dizzy.
i feel something blocking me from the outside world.
( Read more... )

so i started the anti depressants.
i hear there's a stigma attached to that.
i havent told many people.
i guess im scared.
i dont want the whispers of
"kc's depressed."
"kc's different."
"kc's on drugs."
they havent helped so far.
i can barely walk without my vision going black and getting dizzy.
but its a side effect.
what can you do?

you sit ( Read more... )

we'll do it all.everything.on our own
we don't need.anything.or anyone

so a few weeks back i got a text message that said
i see you i know you dont like me but i still wanted to say hi
i knew the number but i didnt know from where.
i start to look around not seeing anyone worth writing back for.
then i get another text saying
oh yea its JAIME ( Read more... )

so i guess feeling this way is normal.
im going through rotations.
im apathetic.
i dont feel a need to care.
i do care but with the headaches and dizziness,
i dont care about much.
school takes put most of my time.
but i dont even seem to care about that.

you only hold me up like this
cause you don't know who i really am.
sometimes i just want to know what ( Read more... )

i hate girls
i hate liars
i hate school days
i hate short movies
i hate curfews

so ive found something that makes me happy.
ive found a boy that makes me happy.
hes cute.
hes sweet.
hes smart.
he has goals.
i like him a lot.
i miss him a lot.

this will probably be the only countdown you get...
2weeks.2days.18hours.48minutes.
im going to san fransisco.
im going to ( Read more... )

 the blood test was okay.
i had a student do it..
she had to take blood from both arms.
the first one didnt hurt.
the second one i could feel the blood leaving.

the next day i went to the dentist.
the dentist was okay.
i havent been able to chew on my left side for like 2 months.
so i told the dentist and he decided that he didnt do the filling right the ( Read more... )

i have to have...
my blood drawn
a ct scan
and i have to see a neurologist.

♥