round 06, challenge one: results
round 06, challenge one: eliminations
#05 (-05) remember to breathe by sungjonggie
#04 (-04) Check out by fourcoldpaws
round 06, challenge one: people's choice
#06 (+04) head in the clouds by geuraee
round 06, challenge one: tallies
Round Six, Challenge One
1. nothing wrong with coming home by gdgdbaby
2. Step One by suddenburst
3. Heart on the Shore by niyaowo
4. Check out by fourcoldpaws
5. remember to breathe by sungjonggie
6. head in the clouds by geuraee
7. Grey Water by trappedintaipei
8. Going, Going, Gone by birdsofamerica
9. wire by supportingly
10. The City will Sing you Home by idiotics
11. Ferris Wheel by betweentheocean
12. Casting Couch by misplacebaggage
13. Submerge by subtleslide
14. just passing through by encodedinme
round 06, challenge one: elimination comments
#02 - Feels disjointed and rote; almost formulaic. It's just descriptive without any emotional resonance.
#02 - this piece doesn't really go anywhere, and worse, fails at its weak attempts at establishing character. it also feels like it could have used a more careful edit: there are a lot of extraneous words that could be cut, and the description of Baekhyun's movement in the third paragraph is quite sloppy.
#02 - There's a lot of action in here, but it's really hard to imagine and thus it feels a bit clumsy. The author clearly knows how the scene is meant to be but doesn't convey it to the reader properly and it's just confusing trying to imagine how the scene will pan out.
#02 - I think this drabble had a much too common theme, and it wasn't very well executed either. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't very interesting.
#03 - The style of the story didn't work for me. It felt like the author didn't know whether they wanted to write poetry or prose, and instead created a choppy and clunky combination of the two.
#04 - Trying too hard to be clever with loopy sentences that read as awkwardly shoved in. The prose lacks control.
#04 - the prose didn't flow well. it was as if the writer was trying to impress the readers and not really telling much of a story.
#04 - cliched; the characterisation is off for me
#04 - It feels rushed and very confused - the first paragraph/sentence is about six lines long with a lot of commas and parenthesis, and it just reads very badly. The writer would've benefitted by breaking up that sentence to organise the ideas a bit better. This might've been deliberate (since the narrator is drunk) but it just seems clumsy.
#04 - The use of words didn't really help in establishing the plot that well. The prose was very confusing. (TIEBREAKER)
#05 - could be about anyone :/
#05 - the use of second person doesn't really help the reader get a better grasp of the story and the characters. also, purple prose.
#05 - dull imagery, vague description, uncertain setting and uncertainty of past versus present
#05 - the imagery used here is so tired and clichéd as to be laughable.
#05 - The second person didn't bother me, but the language was very vague, ex.: "black patches tainting the white skin," my first thought was actually vitiligo, not bruises. Also, I couldn't tell whether it was his grandmother or Hyunmin who was abusive?
#05 - Ultimately this decision came down to which entry confused me the most. I finally understood the runner-up after the third read, yet this one still makes my head spin. A story shouldn't rely on the warning and the summary to make itself understood. I felt there was too much prose and not enough substance.
#09 - i thought that the language and imagery were very pretty, but the lack of clarity really crippled the story. after three read-throughs i still had no real idea of what was going on, especially because of the sudden pov change after the scene break. perhaps adding another 50 words and rounding it out at 200 would've helped with that.
#10 - vague description, repetitive sentence structure
#10 - Instead of feeling haunting, it felt pretty weak and incoherent. The ending feels like it should spell out doom, but I just couldn't feel any sort of actual suspense.
#11 - It felt incoherent, and while I could see glimpses of where the picture prompt inspired the writer, I didn't get how it all tied together.
#11 - some of the phrasing in this gets awkward, and i don't think the au setting serves the story very well. in general, i think it's just hard to write an au in 200 words or less, and here it needlessly distracts from the relationship. trying to fit a flashback in on top of that makes the story feel cluttered.
#11 - I felt like this needed more context. It didn't resonate emotionally because I didn't know what the "mission" was, so I couldn't understand how high the stakes were for Hyunmin.
#11 - While I like the idea of Hyunmin being an assassin(?), the different parts of the drabble had no relation to each other and his memory was pretty cheesy too.
round 06, challenge one: favorite comments
#05 - I like how the signs of abuse were pretty subtle and the way I could interpret Suhoon's actions as a sort of dissociation. It makes me want to reread it.
#06 - good variation in sentence length, good use of active tense
#06 - Love how Myungsoo's imagination plays out, and the ending has emotional pull. Great character development in so few words.
#06 - the writer was able to clearly establish the setting and story in a few words. the characterization is great, and the prose is simple but lovely.
#06 - only drabble that made me feel an emotion...
#08 - I really liked the contrasts of "before" in a relationship to "now" and feel it's a really accurate portrayal of relationships and how they can be. Too often they're put on a pedestal, and I like how realistic this seems in this setting, and the thoughts that run through Jonghyun's head. I really enjoyed this.
#08 - This is such a painfully accurate depiction of an everyday problem, a so perfectly unglamorous slice-of-life. The detail with the dream was intriguing and set a little twist to the story, but what I liked most was the last line. It felt so real to me, and hit me right in the gut.
#12 - this was so well done: sparse and understated and tasteful. the casting couch is a very weighty subject and hard to do justice, but i think the fact that you dwelt on the details and surroundings and used those to set the tone really made the story work.
#12 - The pacing and build-up are lovely. There's not a word out of place - the writing flows but still conveys a sense of stilted artificiality, and I feel it matches the tone of the drabble's content perfectly.
#12 - even in so few words, this piece conveys vivid imagery that paints a picture as well as setting a mood. the best part is the ending, as it closes on just the right note of suspense and foreboding.
#14 - This entry is the one that I found most memorable. I really liked the characterizations and interactions, and I loved how the prose was straightforward and told a story. It was a great balance of dialogue and imagery, and I'm embarrassed to say it made me feel kind of fuzzy inside after finishing it.
countingcolors and encantare have used one skip for this challenge.
Also, just to clarify, each person gets two skips. Not submitting a fic automatically counts as a skip.
The prompts for the second challenge will be posted shortly.