this is how things have beeen left with me and mohamed. with the words, "give it time" I actually sat him down and made him read the last entry. then I showed him this page. he wanted complete honesty, and I gave it to him. It hurt him. I thought it might, so that is why I was keeping it from him, but it is better that he knows. he has always known ( Read more... )

now what am I supposed to do? I got what I wanted from you. what do I want more? did I find the best choice in the end? I am not used to getting what I want from this part of my life, and like a dog that catches a lizard, I don't know what to do now that I have it. what more should I want? I said I wanted for your happiness more than anything, but ( Read more... )

a nun in a habbit... that is what I should become. it would be an excuse to never have to deal with emotions, other than dedication. which I am good at. this whole thing tears me appart... gosh I wanted to fire up my testimony, well, here is the err of my ways and my reaction to it. make a mistake, deal with it, and then take the extreem road to ( Read more... )

I am going to go more into the details of my "relationship" with mohemed. we first met at the movie theatre. I thought he was kind of cute, so I gave it a shot. the way I got into this was very much not something I usually do. anyone who knows me knows that. I place very much thought into what I do, and actually I was thinking before I ever went to ( Read more... )

I am going to break things off with mohamed. as much fun as I have hanging out with him, we want different things out of life, and he will end up resenting me for things I will or wont do. that is my reasoning. I don't want him to get more serious about me than he is. I want his happiness, and I don't see a good outcome for the both of us. I'm just ( Read more... )

woooow I just spent 2 days in orlando, and saw 3 movies. transporter, tuxedo, and red dragon.I saw transporter with my sister, and it was fun to have her cackling in the middle of the movie, just to do it. I didn't spend nearly as much money this time as last, but last time I had good reason. ANYWAY. while I was there I had these inspirational type ( Read more... )

today I sang at the "sing your heart contest" as I feared, they only took cd's, and my song was on tape. I had a back up plan that I wished not to use, but I did anyway.I had the same song on a cd, however it was 2 keys higher than I wanted to sing it in. the beginning was great, but the end sucked, and as I had suspected, I couldn't give an inch ( Read more... )

I scared myself today, in a good way. I just realized that I get to meet agents in a few weeks. I thought it was on the 25th of this month, but I found a paper that told me that it was nov 23rd *phew* I have a little leway in getting my headshots and resume finished. but to think... my life can change in a matter of weeks, it boggles the mind. I'm ( Read more... )

it's about time that I got this computer working ( Read more... )

I am entered in a contest on oct 12 of which I am to sing a song... I have no idea what I am singing. I intended on doing the redemer song, but the CD makes me sound like I'm screaching, and the tape I have that is 2 keys lower is waaaay to fast, and I hate the ending, and the key change... sux to be a church menber, they HAVE to hear it with the ( Read more... )