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She won’t get to see this but I figured maybe you will
Sometimes when it’s late at night I think about the fact that we were together for three years and then you just never spoke to me again. And it hurts and sucks and makes me sad. And honestly it makes me mad at you. I love you and miss you and also.. Wtf? And it kills me cause in hindsight you’re so much like my dad in all the non-scary ways but ( Read more... ) -
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I’m tired but I’m not sleepy. Which is unfortunate since I work tomorrow morning.. I tried sleeping in the bed and then moved to the couch. Maybe I’ll try the hammock next. Hm..
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My mood has been pretty rough lately but I’m feeling really excited and energized rn. I was thinking about buying a home last year but shit is so expensive and then finding the things that I want at a cost I can comfortably afford was feeling hard. I started thinking last night about a new construction rather than a pre owned home and the more I’m ( Read more... ) -
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I started talking to this new person and it pretty quickly became apparent that she has been dating Michelle. And we’ve been talking about that and I spoke with Michelle and now I’m trying to figure out how I want to proceed or if I want to. They seem very nice and I was enjoying talking to them. But now the vast majority of what we’ve talked about ( Read more... ) -
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I’m still so mad at Shannon. And hurt. I know part of why I’m thinking about it is cause I’m lonely and it’s February… I’m sad too, cause there are parts that I miss.. I enjoyed the last few winters-I’m not enjoying this one.
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Been having a hard time today. My eyes are sore and red from crying. I missed my meds yesterday and am due to start my period so had that working against me. Plus, just feeling a little stressed/lonely. Suppose to get a snow storm tomorrow so I might not get to see Jess. What originally kicked me off was realizing we both have next week off, ( Read more... ) -
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I’ve been listening to a lot lately about narcissism and it just starts to feel less like finding understanding and more like getting lost-narcissistic? Or just avoidant? Autistic? Idk. I’m writing this though because I think what’s more important than any of that is how you feel when you’re with someone. Not what you call their behaviors or if you ( Read more... ) -
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Feeling a little grouchy. Shannon things came to mind cause Steph had messaged me on Signal and I was responding. Smh.. It just bothers me. Luckily I have a therapy session tomorrow so I can work some of the feelings out there. *sighs* I’m not entirely sure what I want to talk about other than just updating Dr. Levy and venting.
I’m spending some ( Read more... ) -
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After all that with the Netflix account, when I went to log in on my TV it let me access Shannon’s profile. 🙄 Then I had a hard time logging out but eventually got it sorted. Lol. Ofc.
I came to write about how it’s my birthday tomorrow and mentally I feel very certain she won’t wish me a happy birthday, but somewhere in my chest, I still wonder if ( Read more... ) -
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I was able to transfer my Netflix profile to a new account and delete it off Shannon’s. I also deleted the password and login info so I’m not tempted. Smh.. I’m going to try to sleep. I work again tomorrow.