This is not my official update, but I just had to post this one thing while I'm still sober enough to remember it.

DO NOT CORRECT SOMEONE'S GRAMMAR AND SPELLING IF YOU YOURSELF DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FUCKING SPEAK CORRECT ENGLISH OR SPELL.

Example:

just so you know "via" means through, so you dont need to say via from its like saying "send me money ( Read more... )

Can I just tell the entire LJ collective what fine examples of walking awesome I find you all in participating in my caption contest? Because I would heartily like to. Here my journal sits, virtually humorless for nigh on 3 weeks, yet you still came through and continued to pepper my mailbox with laughery ( Read more... )

Arrrgh! I've had an unforseen busy week with yet another busy week ahead, so the contest has been moved back to--you guessed it!--next week! Enough "week"s in that sentence for ya? How much week could a weak weak week...oh, forget it ( Read more... )

HEAR YE! HEAR YE! ATTENTION ALL LOYAL READERS OF SEXION8 ( Read more... )

HEY, LJ! HOW YA FEELIN ( Read more... )

You know what would make my day? If one more person tells me that The Oscars are based on politics. Really. Because I don't think quite enough people have given me their "original" viewpoints on the matter and the redundancy doesn't get old AT ALL.

No shit the Oscars are political.American life itself is political. The reason I get free food at ( Read more... )

I can't tell you how disappointed I am that I have to work on Sunday at the exact time The Oscars are on. Normally I'd tape it, but this year I wanted to watch it live along with everyone else because...dude...JON-FREAKING-STEWART. This is truly on a previously unknown level of suck ( Read more... )

I don't feel like updating about work in any depth because the fraudulent practices still haven't been resolved as of this writing, but conditions have improved and I'm back to working decent hours again largely thanks to the god-like graciousness of He Who Shall Henceforth Be Named Mr. Big ("Sandra goes home when she is supposed to and that's IT ( Read more... )

I was born contrary, I think. Growing up in the lower middle class side of the city wasn't a great hardship for me because back then, I was simply unaware of what I didn't have ( Read more... )

Captain Trips is what I call my dance with the devil xanax. It is also the name of the plague that struck the world in Stephen King's "The Stand", but you know, it's fitting here as well. I've experienced a level of mellowness I never thought could exist outside of herb brownies. They're not strong -- only 0.5 mg pill(etts) -- but they clobber me ( Read more... )