I never realized how lucky i actually am, Everything is good in my life, yeah so i dont have someone to love and hold, yea so im not in love, there isnt just 1 person that i can turn to and pour my heart out. But you know what i do have friends that i can love on, that i could talk to if i need anything, family that loves me unconditionally, not ( Read more... )

Well im gonna go to Panera today, havnt been there in like 5 months, ive held myself back, thinking i hated the place when i knew i just hated the thoughts of memories. Memories can make you happy, sad, angry, they can be filled with a million emotions. But oh well i love soup and sandwhiches, and i enjoy eating at Panera so i will continue to ( Read more... )

Im finally begining to be happy, im finally starting to feel ok, im not anywhere near great but im ok. What scares me tho is the thoughts that run in the back of my head. How long can it really last Gabe? Do you really think you are happy? Is there anyone that really cares bout you? Why are you alone? Why do others get to have someone and you, ( Read more... )

I dont know what to do anymore, 3 weeks into the school year and i feel lost, i feel alone, i just dont know who i am. Everyone around me is hooking up, everyone around me is having fun, and me i just cant. Im prolly not allowing myself to but its hard. Im just feeling so very alone, I have no one i can really talk to bout it either, my ( Read more... )

I wish i could figure out why i feel this way, i wish i could smile like i use to, i wish i could be so laid back like i use to, i wish things would bother me less like they use to, i wish i was happy like i use to be, i wish i felt at home at grand valley like i use to, i wish i could feel no pain like i use to, i wish i could just be who i was 1 ( Read more... )

Why is it that emotional pain is about a billion times worse then physical pain. Im losing myself so very fast. Where did I go, i know i wasnt this way before. I know i may have felt down at times but it wasnt daily and it didnt get worse. Im just so damn alone. Even when im with my friends im alone, in my heart im alone. I watch everyone ( Read more... )

Well im back at school now and i hate it, i knew how different this year was going to be and i hoped it wouldnt be a certain way but it is. Everynight, i think about death, today i went for a walk, i was with all my friends at one of there apartments and they were drinking and having fun and i got up and went for a walk, i walked around campus and ( Read more... )

Its my last night at home then off to school again. I dont feel like i should go back. I was going through my stuff today getting things ready and i found a letter amber had written to me. It tore me apart, i can sit at home all summer in so much pain, but i dont have to see her, i return to school and ill prolly have to see her, see her with ( Read more... )

Well i only have 2 days left and it wil be back to college life. It is so hard to believe summer is over. It started 4 months ago and now its time to get back into the swing of things. I went and saw my friend Ken tonight, he is going off to Central this year and i thought what the hell ill stop by cuz hes leaving in like 6 hours from now. Its ( Read more... )

Well summer is almost over, a week from today i will be back at school. Everyone i talk to is so excited about going back. I wish i could say the same. Its funny how 4 months ago i couldnt have waited for the day i was going back to school, 4 months was gonna seem like forever, being away from everyone, and now its past, certainly dont feel the ( Read more... )