Wow!  I can't believe what I just did.  I was doused with a supernatural amount of confidence and strength: I deleted every way I could possibly contact the one who broke my heart.  He's out of my phone, deleted as a facebook "friend" (what a lie facebook was for that relationship!  He was not a bit of a friend to me).  I don't know if I regret it ( Read more... )

I have officially started nannying for the same family as last year. As much as I enjoyed my freedom of summer up until now, it's comforting to be back into the routine and schedule of working every day. I felt too much like a bum not having to wake up every morning to work, even though I kept busy with subbing, random babysitting and catching up ( Read more... )

You know not of my gazing eye,
but every glance is reassured
just as much as it is made with
admiration,
respect
and 
desire.

My most challenging struggle:
trusting men-
ignoring the past damage
that lingers on my heart.

I want to grant you the 
benefit of the doubt
to believe you are 
different.

All of your words and actions
highlight and spark hope
within my ( Read more... )

It's absolutely amazing how relieved and much more healed I feel after praying, venting and hanging around Meg and Amanda!  I'm really excited because I can see a new leaf in my life turning over--this dead outer layer of shriveled and decayed pain, abuse and sadness is being peeled away to reveal a vibrant, shiny new-life-green.  I'm stripping ( Read more... )

 I suppose you could say I've been feeling depressed lately.  Nobody besides my mom knows how sad and damaged I am on account that I tend to put on a pretty good  act for those around me.  It's not that I'm trying to ignore my sadness, rather, I've been forcing myself to go out with people and be social as a means to prevent an inward retreat of ( Read more... )

What is it about heartbreak that
has me addicted?
I hate feeling
inadequate!
Yet that's how I feel with
you,
and I keep making time
hoping,
yearning...
but knowing that we're
wrong.

so wrong.

you are my
kryptonite.
how do I destroy
(or rather erase)
you before you
destroy me?

I drip tears--
adding to the river
that gushes
because of you--
with you next
to me
and flowing
( Read more... )

passed by without your

unconventional

haunting of my thoughts.

My natural reaction-

opposition, doubt.

“Two of the same part

don’t fit together”.

Then a moment long awaited.

Filled with fear,

Excitement,

Hopeful anticipation.

The surreal instance of your arm

contoured around my curves

And my ear connected to the rhythm

of ( Read more... )

I never thought I would fully

heal from the pain

of my past…

I am triumphant,

my power is back!

My memories strengthen-

no more paralysis.

I never wanted to open up

my mind

to the possibility of showing

my heart to someone else.

God has been graciously

protecting it, but now

I want to reveal it

and I have.

How’s the view?
( Read more... )

Does that mean miles make me invisible?

Love has no distance; at least mine does not.

There’s no way of confining my love

in a box or in a frame of time.

Won’t you realize this and finally be mine?

I don’t know how else to let you know

that I love you and yearn to grow

with me in your arms and nowhere and everywhere to go.

I tried ( Read more... )

the way your hand felt in mine.

our fingers intertwined

like vines growing together.

That was the perfect moment-

pure, organic, authentic and real;

etched into my mind,

longing for company.

My hand is now left empty-

only filled with salty tears

and the delicate

desire

to be pieced together

again.

Doubt and questions did ( Read more... )