and no one knows what you're feeling, no one cares to know what's going on. that's a lie, but sometimes it feels like the truth. its one of those times, and no i'm not looking for pity, i'm not looking for anyone to ask me what's wrong. it doesnt matter. i'm on my own. i always am. thanks for everything.

nq

"I can't believe that we would lie in graves ( Read more... )

so life is really weird. I think that's the over whelming thought on my life right now. weird. gah. i'll tell you all this later. right now i have to get to work. :) oh work. its fun.

... will it ever stop?"

so i feel like i should update this and get everything out, but i kinda dont want to right now. considering i'm sitting in the library. but i'll do it sometime, i just knwo i have a while to get over this and that i'm not ok and that its ok to cry, i need to remember that. but whatever i'm just doing all i can to stay busy and not have to be alone ( Read more... )

so i dunno why i thought it would last, i knew it was too good to be true, i knew i was kidding myself. my life is never happy for long. it always turns into a lie, and i always get hurt in the end. do what's right for me. i dont know what's right for me, i dunno anymore. i'm losing hope. i dont want a relationship i dont want to date. i want to be ( Read more... )

so here i am in my old apt. when i just moved all my shit into my new one. i dont know what i'm doing here. i dont even know why at 230 in the morning i came back. maybe i feel safe here. i dont know. i'm just a little upset though. well more than a little. i dont even know how to explain everything. except that i'm hurt. i have so much to say, so ( Read more... )

and i think its time i did some updating. so today has been a really weird day. it was mother's day and jon's bday, but i think it has been one of the most depressing days i've had in a loooooong time. i dunno i feel sick to my stomach right now b/c of everything. well most importantly, billy's grandma died. she was the most important person to ( Read more... )

why do i do this to myself ( Read more... )

i want to be done with you ( Read more... )

so i'm real excited about going camping thurs and friday, it will be the first time in a while. maybe it will help my depressed state. i dont know what is wrong with me, but i think it all has to do with a few basic things, money, job, school, "love", and future. these things have been running through my mind ALOT these days. and i dont know ( Read more... )