i can't breathe. my lungs feel like they're closing ( Read more... )

 i can't even lie and feign surprise ( Read more... )

SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
shitshitshitshitshitshitshit.
really.
SHIT.

mmm so yeah.
i'm about to be a homewrecker.

...and i don't feel bad about it.

currently, there are five, with the possibility of a sixth.

normally, i'd be ecstatic about this. 
but for whatever reason, i'm not.

i'm spiraling out of control. farther and farther down the rabbit hole i go...who will pull me out this time?
there are so many arms, but not enough hands.
never enough hands.

i'd like to do this for myself. to walk again ( Read more... )

"Would you please turn around and look at me?"
i don't budge.
"please?"
i turn around and face him.
"please don't give up on me."
"what difference does it make if i give up on you? you've already given up on yourself."

AND
"what i really want is to sit next to someone under an L.L. Bean blanket on the beach in the fall and drink coffee from the same mug. ( Read more... )

 i am feeling alarmingly better in comparison to yesterday ( Read more... )

somehow it's taken me six months to get here, but finally, i've returned to Square One ( Read more... )

"respect!" she laughed, "what in the hell is that?"
she sat perched on the bathroom sink, water bottle in one hand, candy bar in the other.
"who gives a fuck about respect?" she murmured, her pride waning.
inbetween immense, uncontrolled bites and swallows, tears began to fall vulnerably from her face.
she turned towards the mirror.
"you're a fucking ( Read more... )

 maybe i'm a bad person ( Read more... )