I have had a hard last year....oui...fights....bottoming out...but the good news is...I finally hit bottom and I realized I need help...thats why I am now 1 week sober and counting....I am not drinking.....I know I have a problem and can't use drinking as my crutch for everything in life....I am starting my classes once I get my lisence back april ( Read more... )

shakespeare is wonderful. I found a bunch of books my mom had in the closet. all my poetry books and sshakespeare plays from school..I was bored so I read a bit...I miss reading...I miss the simple things...I miss being in love with william and arthur rimbaud and rilke and yeats...I miss getting lost in other people's words...other than getting ( Read more... )

january ( Read more... )

I am still alive. Took a break from Lowell and decided to move to Amesbury with my bro. It's nice and quiet and it feels great. I still work in Tewksbury but I'm cutting down my hours so Ican find work here and make more money. Iprobably won't be around Lowell too much seeing as it still isn't safe....Long story.... I will always be found. so I am ( Read more... )

so Shaelagh had a few drinks yesterday on her day off....and was on her way to meet her friends in Danvers so hey could have a great time at the 311 show....when alas Shaelagh gets into a fender bender with some lady that pulled out....Shaelagh's tire went flat ahse she then had to go to a near by agarage...where hey noticed Shaelagh was ( Read more... )

another day.....yet another day.

I spent monday getting black out drunk with my brother...playing beer pong with kids I didn't know...and waking up....next to my brother in a sunny ass room....and him being late for work and leaving me in a house of some kid I didn't know with his friend I had just met the night before.....sooooo...I walked a mile ( Read more... )

Sometimes I wonder...why the hell am I even here?

What good do I bring to the world?

what the fuck is my purpose in life?

and what is my fucking problem............

I hate everything....I hate when everything falls apart

Things are so much better! it's the night that kills me.....being busy all day....and doing what I want and need to do and being good at it...and being with friends and co workers....and making plans...and hanging out....and then there is night....alone...with the tv or a book...and the sound of my thoughts going back and forth around my head.... ( Read more... )

I wish I could find some pictures of everyone from awhile ago. I f anyone has pictures tell me...I want to do a compare and contrast. It's as if I have completly forgotten who I am and what I used to be like. I am pretty sure I used to be a fun person to be around. That was about 2-3 years ago.....now I am just a big ball of mess ( Read more... )

I haven't written in here forever....jeez ( Read more... )