he makes me so diametrically giddy at the worst possible times.
i will forever love him for that.

broken.

fixed.

broken.

fixed.

i hate always having my defenses up. i'm tired of being a cunt.

things are starting to look way too good.

why does that scare me to death?

i wish i could put a finger on the exact moment that caused me to lose myself. almost entirely.

whatever.

all that matters is i am now myself again. it took a fucking year, & i missed me more than i've ever missed anyone. talk about revelation.

sometimes i crave you so hard, i hate myself for it. sometimes i hate you so much, i hate myself for it. mostly i hate myself for "crushing" over a friend. i was out of the game for so long, that i thought i would be okay with some innocent "platonic" rendezvous. but in turn i just realized that i wasn't as hard as i thought i was. or maybe i just ( Read more... )

everything makes sense. everything is perfect. everything is so clear. dawn & i are taking a road trip july 6, 7, & 8th to Massachusetts. i have plans to visit kristen in west lafayette. erica is moving to indy in june. i have plans to visit her. i still want to go down to tennessee. i think this year i can finally get everything done. i just have ( Read more... )

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHA
HAHAHAHGAHAHAH
AHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH

seriously. pathetic. all of you.

it's real black, and it's burning. and the fact that you love yourself more than anyone ever will, ruins everything. i wouldn't pause. but i can't stop. i don't care if living well is the best revenge, it still won't wreck you. you want no part of her life anymore. you should've let me through the door.

life is almost too good right now. calm before the storm, anyone?

my mouth talks too much. my fingers type too much. my mind thinks too much. my heart hates too much. you lie too much. somewhere in this shuffle you forgot who you were. i hate you even more for that. somewhere in this bullshit my mind started to wander. i hate you a little bit less for that. that's my fault. the rest is your fault. all of it is ( Read more... )