my head is so fucking foggy, & i still fucking hate you.

it
grows
&
grows
&
grows.

& literally no one understands. & i can't fix it. i'm sick of talking about it.

it's all my fault.
i hate myself for it.

i need an impromptu road trip.

i need the ocean.

i've become totally & utterly unhinged in the past two years. i didn't mean for it to be like this. my thoughts have become excessively deranged & irrational. i used to consider myself fairly cognitive until recently. i let so much rage build up that it came out in totally inappropriate times. i've been feeling a lot more tranquil. i'm trying my ( Read more... )

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speak for yourself.

last night the family [ie: me, jason, jeremy, lil kris, emily, jordan, dusty, kim, amber & eric morris] alllllll sat on our porch for a good three hours & just drank & talked about silly things. it was one of the best nights of my life.

it doesn't matter how much you hate it. it'll just make me love it more. plus, i'll never ever ever listen to it. you should know better than that. i couldn't hear a word you said, the music was way too loud. i just liked watching your face crunch up when you talked. i nodded a lot, & shot you some looks. it worked, but in all the wrong ways. i was ( Read more... )

i just took a bc for the first time in over two years. i'm still trying to figure out why i even did it. i'll regret it later i'm sure. my minds been working rather fast & sporadic lately. i suppose my add's kicking in hardcore. it's been awhile since i've been able to keep my mind on anything for more than five minutes. which i guess is okay. ( Read more... )

i had one of the best 4th of july's EVER. at the last minute i threw together a cookout since my parents were gone. it went over quite well. dawn & i started drinking at about 2, & by 4 everyone was over. i cooked hamburgers on the grill for the first time, and i added a special touch & everyone said they were great! i was kind of proud of myself. ( Read more... )