Charmed, I'm Sure.
Title: Charmed, I'm Sure.
Chapter: Five: No One Knows.
Pairing: Julia(n)/Noelian/Noelia
Disclaimer: I dont own the boosh. so please dont sue me i have so little to give.
Previous: ( Prologue. ) ( One: Prince Charming. ) ( Two: Saturday Mornings. ) ( Three: Oh My Dearest. ) ( Four: She Knows. )
*5 Months Later*
"So you did kill him." The tall inspector asked.
Julian flicked hie eyes up and glared at him. "No I didnt."
"But you told your wife you were going to kill someone one day, and then your best friend turns up, hacked to bits! Kind of ironic dont you think?"
Julian cocked his head at the him, Detective Inspector Fraiser... Something or other. "Have you ever looked up Irony in a thesaurus sir?"
When Fraiser Whats-his-face didnt answer, Julian continued. "Humorously sarcastic or mocking; "dry humor"; "an ironic remark often conveys an intended meaning obliquely"; "an ironic novel"; "an ironical smile"; "with a wry Scottish wit"."
The plumper of the two piped up. "Let him finish the story."
Julian nodded in thanks and carried on telling his side of the story.
*4 months earlier*
"Will you try and talk to him. He's gone into lockdown." Julia practically begged Noel.
"I'll 'ave a word with him." Noel nodded, before disappearing off into the kitchen where Julian was darting about doing stuff, mumbling.
"Alright Ju?" He asked.
"No this is your fault this is all your fault." His stomach rumbled loudly. "Shut up!" He told it.
"Jesus Julian, when was the last time you ate something, or did you swallow a lion whole?"
"Thursday." Julian said. "Thursday the 16th."
"That was 2 weeks ago you battycrease! Why are you starving yourself?"
Julian stopped moving. "Because I'm not hungry."
"Don't lie Julian!"
Julian started moving again, putting the kettle on and getting a mug. "Its your fault. You shouldn't... You shouldn't have...NO! Just! Stop it alright!"
"I didnt do anything!"
"It's falling apart! Everything's gonna go to shit!"
Noel sighed. "She doesnt know! Dee doesnt know it was you. She's not gonna say anything if that's what you're worried about."
Julian looked at him. "Say anything?" He asked, shaking his head. "Oh christ. I have to tell her." He tried to make a run for it but Noel was quick to stop him.
"NO! NO JULIAN DONT!" He tried pushing him back but he was far too strong. "Julian stop! Listen to me! If you go in there and tell her you wont only ruin your own life but you'll ruin hers and the twins lives too! Is that what you want? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!"
"No! But I cant keep lying to her Noel! Look what it's doing to me! I havent eaten in a fortnight, I havent slept in 3 weeks! Look at my hands!" He held up a shaking hand, and not even shaking with nerves, it was shaking with parkinsons. "I just... I really need to... I dont know!"
*
"I'll 'ave another one of them thanks Dougie." Julian slurred putting his glass on the bar and going to sit down but missed the stool completely and fell right off it. Noel left his table with Melvis and Alison Mosshart, to see to his drunken friend.
Doug cursed under his breath and walked around the bar to help him up. "I think you've had enough, dont you?"
"I'm... I am really not as think as you drunk I am Doug, I dont want to go home."
"I'm takin' you home!"
Noel went with Doug back to Julian's house and made sure he got in safely.
"Drink some water!" Doug snapped.
Julian turned around. "Thank you ever so much, how much do I owe you?"
"Twenty quid." Noel nodded. Doug hit him on the arm.
Julian gave him a £20 note, which Doug took off Noel instantly and gave back to Julian saying "And there's your change."
"God bless you."