So, the truth is I am sad. Really sad about Beth. I dont know why, but i dont believe we will be together again. It just seems to perfect to happen to me. It sounds as far fetched yet wonderful as winning the lottery. Like something that wonderful could never happen to me. I wish that i didnt beleive this. I am realizing that who i am is changing, ( Read more... )

Its been a while since I have updated. Not much to say except I now have 2 years clean, and of course I miss my baby.

So, i was supposed to go to the out on film festival. I cant really afford it, so i volunteered instead. That way i get to go, but its free. and im doing something helpful. hmm. i have never voluteered for anything before. hehe. service work.

Yeah, so I miss Beth a lot. I haven't seen her for a while and its hard. I am trying to let go. I don't know how to miss her and not make it her problem. I feel a lot of guilt because I feel like I endager her because of my selfish need to be with her. In my heart I am conflicted because I don't want to let go but I don't want to make her keep ( Read more... )

On September 7th? i posted about all the dishes were dirty and rotten. . . umm. . . they still are. situation hasnt changed. note to self. . . wtf!? i am slowly working my way up to throwing them all away. its so stupid, they have been in a pile for 3-4 months untouched.

My car broke down this weekend. It was Saturday night and I was at home watching TV in my pajama’s when a friend called and asked if I wanted to go out. So I jumped up, got ready and headed out. When I got there, he was eating dinner so I came in and ate with him and his roommate. So. . . my car wouldn’t start back up. His poor roommate has the flu ( Read more... )

Wednesday I went to dinner with a sponsee of mine. We went out to Noche in Virginia Highlands for tapas before a meeting. Anyways, Christina drove by and honked and waved when we were waiting to cross the street. I waived we went on with our day. Anyways, an inside source told me that she went home and was gossiping about how “I saw Shannon at a ( Read more... )

I am now on a big tirade of “its me and god and I’m learning to love myself”. It is most excellent. See, I don’t need anyone to love me because God does. I’m not alone ever because he’s there. And he’s way more valuable than any human, because I don’t fear he will leave me. And he is as close to me as I wish him to be. And, there’s no jealousy. I ( Read more... )

I am very happy. And for today, that’s enough. Apparently, I have a lot to say about absolutely nothing. :)