Exhibit B: Impostor

[shanns_ljidol]

One of the traits of someone with BPD is that we take on the traits of the people around us. We have no idea who we are and generally just feel empty. So liking or disliking whatever the people around us likes or dislikes makes us feel more grounded. But we end up losing ourselves in the process. We still don't know who we are. And if and when that

Comments

[alien_writings]

I feel almost insulted when they say it. I'm a mess inside.

I don't have the same issues you do, but I have my own and would hate to be told I seemed especially put together when I was feeling like a mess inside. :/

[shanns_ljidol]

Thank you. I talk to these people they should get that I am not as well put together as I seem. I'm sure they both meant it as a compliment but it still bugged me.

[shanns_ljidol]

Thanks. I wrote another entry about having it here: http://shanns-ljidol.livejournal.com/11123.html

It goes into a little more detail.

[kajel]

It sucks when you feel you can't be yourself. It seems like getting away was a good opportunity for you to discover some things that were just about you.

[shanns_ljidol]

It was but now I fight taking on other people's likes and dislikes and that is hard to do. It's so much easier to just "fit in".

[imprincessapril]

What the therapists say about other BPD sufferers IS insulting AND insensitive, IMO.

[shanns_ljidol]

If you Google it much of what you find is insulting and insensitive. People don't really understand us at all.

[witches]

I love this entry so much. Def one of my favourites. I have a couple of close friends with BPD and an ex bf of mine also had it. I feel I have quite a good understanding of BPD and this; We have no idea who we are and generally just feel empty. So liking or disliking whatever the people around us likes or dislikes makes us feel more grounded. But we end up losing ourselves in the process. We still don't know who we are. And if and when that person leaves, we are empty and lost again and go into a panic. is just extremely accurate of my ex in particular.
I remember people would say to me "you should dump him, he's too difficult" and his family had a terrible attitude towards his BPD. "Why is he doing this to us?" being the general lament. Ugh, it drove me mad that they didn't even seem to want to try and understand, especially as his mother also had BPD and it had resulted in her suicide :/

While I don't have BPD myself, I relate to this very much. I have MDD. And I've noticed that a lot of people seem to think that being depressed

[halfshellvenus]

"If there's nothing troubling in your life, you're not depressed, it's attention seeking!"

!!! That would actually be the definition of chronic depression that is usually chemical in nature. It's one of the ways to ID chronic depression-- it's not a response to an environmental trigger, it's something that persists even without outside influence.

So many people are still so very ignorant about this and other mental illnesses. I'm sorry for that. :(

[witches]

That would actually be the definition of chronic depression that is usually chemical in nature. It's one of the ways to ID chronic depression-- it's not a response to an environmental trigger, it's something that persists even without outside influence. exactly, which I have tried to explain to some people only to have them dismiss is as 'putting it on' ugh.
They really are and it really rubs me the wrong way that this attitude is still so prevelant!

[shanns_ljidol]

Thank you so much. I do go into complete panic mode when someone leaves me. Which of course always happens because they get tired of my mood swings and what they see as me being clingy when I'm only trying to not be abandoned yet again. It's a never ending and awful circle.

I'm really glad you enjoyed this and get it.