So, fuck, a time machine, a fucking time machine, it's all I want and all I need, a mother fucking time machine. Mandy and I have broken up, it was something I did, all my fault, I'm sure most of you who matter have read all about it in her journal, but just to recap, I fucked someone else, a mistake I wish I had never made, even worse, she was 15 ( Read more... )

Well this is going to have to be a brief entry, since Mandy is pissed off at me for wanting to update this journal, I don't get that woman, she's always pissed at me for something, and it's usually for a perfectly reasonable request, but this isn't what I wanted to talk about, I don't like to complain on my journal, too many people do that already ( Read more... )

Well it has certainly been a while hasn't it, a lot has happened in recent months and not all of it good or bad, life has been a merry-go-round of varying emotions and thoughts, a haze of many different traumas and epiphanies, Mandy and I are struggling to make ends meet but that's not really new news, we were starting to catch up on stuff but I'm ( Read more... )

*Sigh* is it truly so wrong to feel hurt or ashamed, or to feel insignificant, today began in horror and panic, and it shall I fear end in the same manner, but there is nothing now that I can do to stop that course of action, it is already begun and shall not cease until one day when I breath that last breath, unfortunately life is bliss, there are ( Read more... )

The day began several hours ago in a desecration of the thought process, I awoke and crawled out of bed letting Mandy sleep because she has been sick, my mind was wandering over many topics but never settled on any of them, it was then that I came to a horrific realization, it is this time in the early day, this thing we call morning that brings ( Read more... )

I sit and wonder of the many things I have done, the good and the bad. Sometimes I go far enough to wonder what my motivations could have been. When I try to justify them I am brought only to the question of right and wrong. Have any of the things i have done been selfish? Yes, of-course, selfishness is the way of man. Have any of my actions ont he ( Read more... )

Alright so I'll grant, it has been a long time since I've last updated this journal, but as we all know I don't get around to it very much, so such long periods without entry should be expected and I'm sure that by most of you they are, I think that updating as infrequently as I do keeps people reading this journal, they read it because on the rare ( Read more... )

Well it seems as of late that I get comments only from a couple people when I need comments the most, advice is scarce I suppose when you aren't exactly known to ask for it, perhaps I've made it seem in the past that I have it all worked out, that I know what I'm talking about, but I'm just as diluted as the next insecure fool, I'm just as ( Read more... )

Jealousy has of late reared it's ugly head in the most severe of forms, it hasn't caused problems in my relationship, because I've bottled it inside, it's stupid jealousy, but there nonetheless, Mandy had a thing a while back with the members of the band "Dope" and she just recently told me about it, but you see that has begun a spiral of jealous ( Read more... )

Well I think the title says it clearly enough, I nedan LJ code for Mandy, my loving and oh so beautiful girlfriend, she wants to join in on all the lovely conversing we do here on LJ, however I've already used my code for my little brother to have an LJ, so if there is anyone out there with an extra code, please let me know, I will return the favor