So she took down the entry I quoted, I suppose it's best if she doesn't let everyone know I care, if she lets it be known that I was so in love then perhaps she wouldn't know what to feel, or if she should be hurt, or be happy, oh well, I suppose people like me don't deserve a moment in the sun, we just sort of sit back and make things easier on ( Read more... )

I guess I'm just sitting here, waiting upon a hope based upon a false prayer that you might have something to say or add, something to mention or even a thought to give, a care or perhaps a desire, but I suppose all this conjecture is really moot when you think about it, in the long run it is out of my hands who feels what for whom, and I suppose I ( Read more... )

Life has been lately no more or less than a web thickly woven of deceit and confusion, a web that has tangled my mind and heart so tightly I didn't think I would ever escape, however, since last night, this web has begun to fall apart, lies are turned to truth and confusion has become clarity, there are things I still don't understand and may never ( Read more... )

I have to go to bed now, how can she expect me to sleep, how can I expect myself to sleep...Kill me...kill me...kille me...kill me... kill me... kill me... kill me... kill me...kill me...kill me... kill me... kill me... kill me... kill me... kill me... kill me... kill me... kill me... kill me... kill me...kill me... kill me... kill me... kill me ( Read more... )

So today has been a long day, as most of them have been lately, I can't decide if everything in my life is either comming together, or falling apart. Joyce moved out today, and I'm still not sure of my thoughts about that, I miss her already and it hasn't even been two hours, I'm lying in bed listening to our song (Assemblage 23 - "Let me be your ( Read more... )

I've been lost as of late, in a daze that I can't call a dream or reality, reality has slipped it's grip on me and I'm afraid I'm all out of dreams, I was lying in bed talking with Joyce and she told me I shouldn't sing at our up-comming modeling audition, she said I didn't have the voice for it, it hurt alot to hear but I guess she might be right ( Read more... )

Tool is on in the background and I'm lying in bed with a very thoughtful state of mind keeping me company and a second generation cigarette wanting to be smoked, two candles lit and all I can think about is her. Curse this thing we call love, it is in this state that we see things as most blissfully false, Joyce and I are working out far better ( Read more... )

Okay so saying this will probably hurt a few feelings, but firstly and foremost hurting feelings is not my goal, and I regret that I have to do it, but I put my life on the back burner for a long time and I'm afraid i simply can' do it any longer, I cannot wait around and bide my time forever, but I'm sorry that things have to be the way they do ( Read more... )

Okay so the day began for me a little while ago at around noon-ish, I woke up and damn did I ever have to pee, and once that was complete I started to DL some music, found a bunch of great new shit last night, like this band out of germany called Blutengel, really good band, and Skintrade from Florida, they're really good too, listening to them ( Read more... )

I suppose it's about time to update you all on the events of my life as of late. I would like to make it clear that I Fucking Love My Life! everything has only been drastic improvement since Mandy and I broke up, I am so happy to be rid of that baggage, but I'm not writing for any of the reasons that may be assumed from that last little bit of ( Read more... )