Fic: The Crossroads Conundrum, Part 12
Title: The Crossroads Conundrum
Part 12: Leonard
Author: she_burns1
Pairing: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Penny
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,710
Summary: Future!fic! Sheldon, Penny, and Leonard all thought they knew exactly what they wanted, but with a big change on the way, all three begin to question themselves, and each of them is lead in a direction they had not anticipated.
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The plot is all mine. No copyright infringement is intended
Author's Note: It's still not to late to bid on fics for help_haiti ! Here is my thread, the masterlist for sheldon_penny, and my good friends gutter_rhymes, katiemariie, and everyoneisemo! Bid!
Back to: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11
Love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image... otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. - Anonymous
“Yes, yes….thank you again, Mrs. Cooper. I’m sure wherever he is, he’s fine but, if you hear from him first just call…yes, no, I…no, yes, thank you…yes, I’ll be sure to pray for him too…no, no that’s…yes, okay, thank you again, okay, uh-huh, bye.” Penny clicked Sheldon’s cell phone shut and continued pacing.
She had called all the numbers on his phone that she thought to be the most important. She imagined when he did come back he would be furious with her for the invasion of his privacy, but if he hadn’t wanted it to happen he would have taken the phone with him.
She’d been pacing ever since she’d started making the calls and with each step she found herself torn between a wide variety of emotions. The current one was resentment. How could he do this to everyone? She was worried sick, and now so was his mother. If he had only been less cryptic in his departure…
Leonard hadn’t moved an inch, quietly sulking in Sheldon’s spot, “What did she say?”
“She hasn’t heard anything, but if she does, she says she’ll call us. She asked if I called MeeMaw and I told her I hadn’t and she said she’d take care of that. She said if Sheldon called anyone, it was most likely be her, as apparently any time anything really upsetting happens that’s who he turns to first,” Penny said this heatedly, her pace quickening, “I just…I swear, I could kill him!”
“Penny-”
“I mean, now we have to upset his grandmother and all because he left his stupid phone here! And you just know he left it on purpose, because there’s no way he would have just forgotten it-”
“Penny, maybe Raj is right and he just wants to be left alone-”
“Or maybe he left his phone because he knew that if he’d had it, I would be talking to him right now, my voice blistering his stupid ear right off his stupid head with the things I would say!” she seethed, “Oh ho, if I could talk to him right now! You know what I’d say? I’d say Sheldon, Sheldon; I’d say you, you…” Penny twisted her hands into fists and punched at the air, words dissolving into angry grunts.
“Nice. Very articulate.”
The look Penny shot Leonard made him squirm in his seat. He patted the couch next to him, “I’m sorry. Look…how about you just sit down, all right? Maybe…take a breather?”
Penny fidgeted, angry, and unable to do anything about it. Finally, after some more frenzied pacing, she flopped down on to the couch next to Leonard. She tossed Sheldon’s phone onto the coffee table and punched at one of the couch cushions as she sat, as if trying to work out a stubborn lump in the material.
“There. That better?” Leonard asked calmly.
Penny answered with an unattractive snort as she slouched. Leonard turned to her, licking his lips, face apprehensive as he said quietly, “We…we could think about something else for a while…”
Penny didn’t answer.
“…could talk about the wedding.”
Penny took in a deep breath and turned to him, a little smile on her face, “Yeah. Yeah, we could.”
They were silent for a minute. Penny eyed the cell phone and Leonard imagined she was trying to will it to ring. When it didn’t, Penny sat up, reached into her pocket and pulled out her own phone. She checked it and, once satisfied no one had called in the last five seconds, deposited it on the table next to Sheldon’s.
She stared at both phones and muttered under her breath, “No one’s calling…maybe I should go out and look for him too…”
Leonard’s mind flashed to one of the previous times Sheldon had run away. Penny whistling out the window to him, as if he was a dog. She had been so concerned, even then, and Leonard felt his lips tug at the memory.
He took in a deep breath and looked at her.
She was so beautiful.
This woman he loved so much, this woman he had asked to marry him.
He looked down at his hands, his voice soft as he said the words he’d been dreading, the ones he had known, somehow, instinctively, that he would say, “This…isn’t going to happen…is it?”
Penny turned to him, blinking, stunned, little cupid mouth puzzled and so adorable and he wanted to kiss her, but he knew he wouldn’t, as she asked, “What? What are you…?”
“The wedding.” He offered, voice small.
Penny’s head reared back a little, as she shook her head, hands waving lamely, “Oh, no, no…Leonard, honey…please, no, what are you even-? Of course we’re-”
“Don’t,” he begged then, desperate, “Please, just…don’t.”
Penny looked at him and he avoided looking at her. The moment was tense, silent, as she swallowed, suddenly feeling the rushing hot and cold that one feels right before something terrible is about to happen. She shook her head, “Leonard…”
“What happened between you and Sheldon?”
Penny’s mouth flapped silently and it took her a few minutes to find her voice, “Wh-what? Nothing.”
Leonard shot her that look that Penny had very early in their relationship dubbed the ‘I’m a scientist, not an idiot’ look. She wilted under it, shaking her head, not wanting to answer.
Leonard took in a loud breath through his nose, “Did you kiss him?”
“No.”
He shifted on the couch, voice full of disbelief, “Did you…did you sleep with him?”
“No!” Penny gasped; stunned he would even suggest it.
“Well…what exactly did happen?”
Penny’s hands didn’t know what to do. They fluttered around one another and her head titled back, looking at the ceiling as she tried to think of how best to answer, “I don’t…I don’t know. I just…it was him and it was me and it was…this moment. And it was confusing. Just…confusing.”
Leonard found his mind locking on to the memory of that Saturday night, of her coming to him, to them making love, to him waking up the next day to find her gone. And the distance, the almost imperceptible distance, between Sheldon and Penny after that, “So, nothing happened?”
“No,” Penny confessed and she sat up, her gaze on her trembling hands, “I mean we talked and…okay, we-we sort of kissed but-”
“‘Sort of kiss’? How do you-”
“Like this,” Penny breathed as she leaned into him, their lips brushing.
It was over so quickly that Leonard barely registered her mouth against his at all, “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“That…that was confusing.”
“Yeah.”
Leonard sighed, heart heavy, “So…that’s why he left.”
“Leonard,” Penny whispered, her eyes had been on him ever since she had given him the barest of kisses, “Leonard, he loves you.”
“Sheldon loves me?”
Penny shrugged, knowing it sounded silly, but unable to think of any other way to put it, “You’re his best friend. I think he left because he didn’t want to make things complicated.”
He looked back at her, dark eyes hollow behind his glasses, “By being confused.”
“Yes.”
Silence settled in, an uncomfortable blanket, as they looked at one another. There was nothing to say. And everything to say. And part of Penny wanted to cry, but it felt as though there were no tears left.
Leonard looked at his own hands now, “Does he love you?”
“No,” Penny said firmly, then, “I don’t know…how can he? How can I…we barely even…I mean we’d kill each other. And it’s-it’s so stupid. We’re…we would be terrible for one another and it’s…we can’t…it would be crazy. Just crazy.”
Yes, crazy, Leonard thought, crazy, just inches from where Sheldon has always been.
It was an old joke. Sheldon being crazy, Sheldon being one lab experiment away from becoming some super villain…
But then, when it had mattered most, Sheldon had left. Maybe he wasn’t so crazy, after all, Leonard mused. He knew he would give anything to not be here now. To not have to stare all of this in the face. Leonard felt numb, feeling his lips move but not really knowing how he was speaking, “Sheldon shouldn’t have left. I should have.”
Penny touched his arm gently, “Leonard…”
He took in a deep breath through his nose as his hand covered hers and gave it a limp squeeze, “Penny…come on, we knew. We both knew.”
“Knew-?”
“This wasn’t going to happen,” He shook his head, “I think we wanted it to…and we tried. We did, but we…it wasn’t meant to be.”
Penny didn’t say anything.
“I love you, Penny. I do. I always will. But there’s a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. I think…this whole relationship…it’s never been…I’ve changed and you’ve changed and we’ve compromised and we’ve tried to be people we’re not. And we shouldn’t have to do that. Maybe it’s because I don’t really know who I am or I’m not confidant enough to-”
“Leonard,” Penny whispered and, still holding his hand, she gave it a firm squeeze, “You’re a great guy.”
Leonard shrugged and she could tell he didn’t believe her. She rested her head on his shoulder, “You are.”
They sat there; quiet for a while, until Penny laughed weakly, “We’re doomed.”
“Doomed?”
“The wedding…all the planning…”
Leonard’s lips felt strange on his face as they twitched, “Howard can take care of it. He wanted to be the best man. He can tell everyone. He can cancel everything.”
Penny blinked, her hand disconnecting from his, her head leaving his shoulder as she sat up, “So that’s it?”
Leonard finally looked at her again, “Do you want to marry me?”
Penny’s mouth opened and closed and Leonard nodded his head, “That’s what I thought.”
Leonard got to his feet and walked away from her. He went to the window and looked outside, “Penny, I’m not mad at you. I’m not mad at him. I’m not…I’m not mad at anybody.”
He was silent for a moment, letting that sink in before saying, “We were playing it safe. I think. And we were afraid. I know I was. I was scared of…”
He shook his head, “We could have been happy. If we had gotten married. Maybe. But…there would have always been that uncertainty. That doubt…that…it would have caught up with us. Because…we’re not right for each other. Not really. And if we…if I…I don’t…I don’t want to go down that road.”
Penny looked at Leonard and noticed that he was standing tall. And now that she thought of it, she wasn’t sure if she had ever seen him stand like that before. Straight. Confident. It made her lips quirk and her eyes water and it seemed strange then, to be proud of him in some weird way.
He cleared his throat, “I’m going to need some time.”
Finally she spoke, “Me too.”
Leonard shook his head; a dry rasp leaving him that somewhat resembled a chuckle, “It’s funny, you know. This entire…our…I’ve always been sort of holding my breath. Knowing this was too good to be true and that someday, someday, you would be the one to break up with me.”
He turned and looked at her then, “And now look…I broke up with you.”
Penny took in a deep breath and got to her feet. She wanted to walk over to him. She wanted to hug him. She wanted to do…something.
But she could think of nothing past the fact that a relationship could take years to build and only minutes to dismantle.
Mechanically she went to the kitchen and poured herself a drink. She looked at the cell phones on the coffee table and wished one of them would ring, wished something would happen to take her and him away from this moment, from this feeling.
But no deus ex machina seemed forth coming, and so she went through the motions. Leonard, for his part, seemed to do the same, walking around the apartment, looking at things like he had never seen them before. Both thought to leave the company of the other, but neither did so, a strange sort of comfort found together.
There was so much to say, but neither of them could find the words. It all felt so surreal and yet the cold, biting reality of their situation nipped at their heels now and again, causing the air between them to feel awkward and stiff.
It was more than a relief when Penny’s cell phone finally rang. She picked it up gingerly, voice giving away nothing, “Hello?”
Leonard heard the murmured affirmatives but the other words seemed lost to him as his gaze had settled out the window again. He wondered where Sheldon was. It was times like this that it was almost always best to talk to your closest friend. But Leonard didn’t have that option. No best friend. No girlfriend. He was all alone.
And yet…
And yet, he didn’t feel as broken as he thought he should.
Maybe it was because, in a way, he had always seen this coming.
Or maybe, just maybe, it was because he was a stronger person than he had thought he was.
It was odd, to find this sort of understanding, this sort of reassurance, within himself, but Leonard found himself humbled by it. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.
“Missy and the others are going to the train station,” Penny said, her voice quiet but with the breaking of the silence, she may just as well have been shouting, “Barry apparently drove Sheldon there and dropped him off.”
Leonard nodded to himself and Penny sighed, “I’m…I’m going to meet them there. Do-do you-?”
Leonard shook his head, “No. No. I’m…I’m going to stay here.”
“Leonard…”
Leonard turned to Penny. He walked over, only apprehensive for a moment before he hugged her. She returned the hug, eyes finally welling up, “Leonard…there’s…I…”
“Shh,” he offered. He wanted to tell her they had said enough. He wanted to tell her there was really no more to say. He wanted to tell her, if anything, they could work it out later. But he didn’t. Instead he offered another quiet ‘shh’ and another warm squeeze within his embrace, his voice almost inaudible against her hair as he whispered, “It’s okay.”
Penny gasped, hugging him hard, “I love you.”
“I love you too. I just want you to be happy.”
A sob bubbled out of her and then was crushed as she broke away from him, unable to meet his eyes as she gathered up her things and turned to leave. Before she did, without looking at him, she looked down at her engagement ring.
She twisted it this way and that about her finger. Then, with a shaky breath, she began to remove it. It seemed reluctant to come off at first, but once it did, she held it in the palm of her hand.
It was an ordinary ring, sort of sad and small, but right now it seemed to sparkle, brighter than ever. She placed it on the coffee table and, while still not looking at one another, they both looked at it.
It sat between them, its’ sparkling light a comfort, a beacon, signaling the end of one thing but the beginning of another. But a beginning that would take each of them down a different path than the one they had initially envisioned. A path without one another.
Penny went back to the door, her hand on the knob, her face not meeting his as she said quietly, “You too, Leonard. You too.”
And then she was gone.
Part 12: Leonard
Author: she_burns1
Pairing: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Penny
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,710
Summary: Future!fic! Sheldon, Penny, and Leonard all thought they knew exactly what they wanted, but with a big change on the way, all three begin to question themselves, and each of them is lead in a direction they had not anticipated.
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The plot is all mine. No copyright infringement is intended
Author's Note: It's still not to late to bid on fics for help_haiti ! Here is my thread, the masterlist for sheldon_penny, and my good friends gutter_rhymes, katiemariie, and everyoneisemo! Bid!
Back to: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11
Love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image... otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. - Anonymous
“Yes, yes….thank you again, Mrs. Cooper. I’m sure wherever he is, he’s fine but, if you hear from him first just call…yes, no, I…no, yes, thank you…yes, I’ll be sure to pray for him too…no, no that’s…yes, okay, thank you again, okay, uh-huh, bye.” Penny clicked Sheldon’s cell phone shut and continued pacing.
She had called all the numbers on his phone that she thought to be the most important. She imagined when he did come back he would be furious with her for the invasion of his privacy, but if he hadn’t wanted it to happen he would have taken the phone with him.
She’d been pacing ever since she’d started making the calls and with each step she found herself torn between a wide variety of emotions. The current one was resentment. How could he do this to everyone? She was worried sick, and now so was his mother. If he had only been less cryptic in his departure…
Leonard hadn’t moved an inch, quietly sulking in Sheldon’s spot, “What did she say?”
“She hasn’t heard anything, but if she does, she says she’ll call us. She asked if I called MeeMaw and I told her I hadn’t and she said she’d take care of that. She said if Sheldon called anyone, it was most likely be her, as apparently any time anything really upsetting happens that’s who he turns to first,” Penny said this heatedly, her pace quickening, “I just…I swear, I could kill him!”
“Penny-”
“I mean, now we have to upset his grandmother and all because he left his stupid phone here! And you just know he left it on purpose, because there’s no way he would have just forgotten it-”
“Penny, maybe Raj is right and he just wants to be left alone-”
“Or maybe he left his phone because he knew that if he’d had it, I would be talking to him right now, my voice blistering his stupid ear right off his stupid head with the things I would say!” she seethed, “Oh ho, if I could talk to him right now! You know what I’d say? I’d say Sheldon, Sheldon; I’d say you, you…” Penny twisted her hands into fists and punched at the air, words dissolving into angry grunts.
“Nice. Very articulate.”
The look Penny shot Leonard made him squirm in his seat. He patted the couch next to him, “I’m sorry. Look…how about you just sit down, all right? Maybe…take a breather?”
Penny fidgeted, angry, and unable to do anything about it. Finally, after some more frenzied pacing, she flopped down on to the couch next to Leonard. She tossed Sheldon’s phone onto the coffee table and punched at one of the couch cushions as she sat, as if trying to work out a stubborn lump in the material.
“There. That better?” Leonard asked calmly.
Penny answered with an unattractive snort as she slouched. Leonard turned to her, licking his lips, face apprehensive as he said quietly, “We…we could think about something else for a while…”
Penny didn’t answer.
“…could talk about the wedding.”
Penny took in a deep breath and turned to him, a little smile on her face, “Yeah. Yeah, we could.”
They were silent for a minute. Penny eyed the cell phone and Leonard imagined she was trying to will it to ring. When it didn’t, Penny sat up, reached into her pocket and pulled out her own phone. She checked it and, once satisfied no one had called in the last five seconds, deposited it on the table next to Sheldon’s.
She stared at both phones and muttered under her breath, “No one’s calling…maybe I should go out and look for him too…”
Leonard’s mind flashed to one of the previous times Sheldon had run away. Penny whistling out the window to him, as if he was a dog. She had been so concerned, even then, and Leonard felt his lips tug at the memory.
He took in a deep breath and looked at her.
She was so beautiful.
This woman he loved so much, this woman he had asked to marry him.
He looked down at his hands, his voice soft as he said the words he’d been dreading, the ones he had known, somehow, instinctively, that he would say, “This…isn’t going to happen…is it?”
Penny turned to him, blinking, stunned, little cupid mouth puzzled and so adorable and he wanted to kiss her, but he knew he wouldn’t, as she asked, “What? What are you…?”
“The wedding.” He offered, voice small.
Penny’s head reared back a little, as she shook her head, hands waving lamely, “Oh, no, no…Leonard, honey…please, no, what are you even-? Of course we’re-”
“Don’t,” he begged then, desperate, “Please, just…don’t.”
Penny looked at him and he avoided looking at her. The moment was tense, silent, as she swallowed, suddenly feeling the rushing hot and cold that one feels right before something terrible is about to happen. She shook her head, “Leonard…”
“What happened between you and Sheldon?”
Penny’s mouth flapped silently and it took her a few minutes to find her voice, “Wh-what? Nothing.”
Leonard shot her that look that Penny had very early in their relationship dubbed the ‘I’m a scientist, not an idiot’ look. She wilted under it, shaking her head, not wanting to answer.
Leonard took in a loud breath through his nose, “Did you kiss him?”
“No.”
He shifted on the couch, voice full of disbelief, “Did you…did you sleep with him?”
“No!” Penny gasped; stunned he would even suggest it.
“Well…what exactly did happen?”
Penny’s hands didn’t know what to do. They fluttered around one another and her head titled back, looking at the ceiling as she tried to think of how best to answer, “I don’t…I don’t know. I just…it was him and it was me and it was…this moment. And it was confusing. Just…confusing.”
Leonard found his mind locking on to the memory of that Saturday night, of her coming to him, to them making love, to him waking up the next day to find her gone. And the distance, the almost imperceptible distance, between Sheldon and Penny after that, “So, nothing happened?”
“No,” Penny confessed and she sat up, her gaze on her trembling hands, “I mean we talked and…okay, we-we sort of kissed but-”
“‘Sort of kiss’? How do you-”
“Like this,” Penny breathed as she leaned into him, their lips brushing.
It was over so quickly that Leonard barely registered her mouth against his at all, “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“That…that was confusing.”
“Yeah.”
Leonard sighed, heart heavy, “So…that’s why he left.”
“Leonard,” Penny whispered, her eyes had been on him ever since she had given him the barest of kisses, “Leonard, he loves you.”
“Sheldon loves me?”
Penny shrugged, knowing it sounded silly, but unable to think of any other way to put it, “You’re his best friend. I think he left because he didn’t want to make things complicated.”
He looked back at her, dark eyes hollow behind his glasses, “By being confused.”
“Yes.”
Silence settled in, an uncomfortable blanket, as they looked at one another. There was nothing to say. And everything to say. And part of Penny wanted to cry, but it felt as though there were no tears left.
Leonard looked at his own hands now, “Does he love you?”
“No,” Penny said firmly, then, “I don’t know…how can he? How can I…we barely even…I mean we’d kill each other. And it’s-it’s so stupid. We’re…we would be terrible for one another and it’s…we can’t…it would be crazy. Just crazy.”
Yes, crazy, Leonard thought, crazy, just inches from where Sheldon has always been.
It was an old joke. Sheldon being crazy, Sheldon being one lab experiment away from becoming some super villain…
But then, when it had mattered most, Sheldon had left. Maybe he wasn’t so crazy, after all, Leonard mused. He knew he would give anything to not be here now. To not have to stare all of this in the face. Leonard felt numb, feeling his lips move but not really knowing how he was speaking, “Sheldon shouldn’t have left. I should have.”
Penny touched his arm gently, “Leonard…”
He took in a deep breath through his nose as his hand covered hers and gave it a limp squeeze, “Penny…come on, we knew. We both knew.”
“Knew-?”
“This wasn’t going to happen,” He shook his head, “I think we wanted it to…and we tried. We did, but we…it wasn’t meant to be.”
Penny didn’t say anything.
“I love you, Penny. I do. I always will. But there’s a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. I think…this whole relationship…it’s never been…I’ve changed and you’ve changed and we’ve compromised and we’ve tried to be people we’re not. And we shouldn’t have to do that. Maybe it’s because I don’t really know who I am or I’m not confidant enough to-”
“Leonard,” Penny whispered and, still holding his hand, she gave it a firm squeeze, “You’re a great guy.”
Leonard shrugged and she could tell he didn’t believe her. She rested her head on his shoulder, “You are.”
They sat there; quiet for a while, until Penny laughed weakly, “We’re doomed.”
“Doomed?”
“The wedding…all the planning…”
Leonard’s lips felt strange on his face as they twitched, “Howard can take care of it. He wanted to be the best man. He can tell everyone. He can cancel everything.”
Penny blinked, her hand disconnecting from his, her head leaving his shoulder as she sat up, “So that’s it?”
Leonard finally looked at her again, “Do you want to marry me?”
Penny’s mouth opened and closed and Leonard nodded his head, “That’s what I thought.”
Leonard got to his feet and walked away from her. He went to the window and looked outside, “Penny, I’m not mad at you. I’m not mad at him. I’m not…I’m not mad at anybody.”
He was silent for a moment, letting that sink in before saying, “We were playing it safe. I think. And we were afraid. I know I was. I was scared of…”
He shook his head, “We could have been happy. If we had gotten married. Maybe. But…there would have always been that uncertainty. That doubt…that…it would have caught up with us. Because…we’re not right for each other. Not really. And if we…if I…I don’t…I don’t want to go down that road.”
Penny looked at Leonard and noticed that he was standing tall. And now that she thought of it, she wasn’t sure if she had ever seen him stand like that before. Straight. Confident. It made her lips quirk and her eyes water and it seemed strange then, to be proud of him in some weird way.
He cleared his throat, “I’m going to need some time.”
Finally she spoke, “Me too.”
Leonard shook his head; a dry rasp leaving him that somewhat resembled a chuckle, “It’s funny, you know. This entire…our…I’ve always been sort of holding my breath. Knowing this was too good to be true and that someday, someday, you would be the one to break up with me.”
He turned and looked at her then, “And now look…I broke up with you.”
Penny took in a deep breath and got to her feet. She wanted to walk over to him. She wanted to hug him. She wanted to do…something.
But she could think of nothing past the fact that a relationship could take years to build and only minutes to dismantle.
Mechanically she went to the kitchen and poured herself a drink. She looked at the cell phones on the coffee table and wished one of them would ring, wished something would happen to take her and him away from this moment, from this feeling.
But no deus ex machina seemed forth coming, and so she went through the motions. Leonard, for his part, seemed to do the same, walking around the apartment, looking at things like he had never seen them before. Both thought to leave the company of the other, but neither did so, a strange sort of comfort found together.
There was so much to say, but neither of them could find the words. It all felt so surreal and yet the cold, biting reality of their situation nipped at their heels now and again, causing the air between them to feel awkward and stiff.
It was more than a relief when Penny’s cell phone finally rang. She picked it up gingerly, voice giving away nothing, “Hello?”
Leonard heard the murmured affirmatives but the other words seemed lost to him as his gaze had settled out the window again. He wondered where Sheldon was. It was times like this that it was almost always best to talk to your closest friend. But Leonard didn’t have that option. No best friend. No girlfriend. He was all alone.
And yet…
And yet, he didn’t feel as broken as he thought he should.
Maybe it was because, in a way, he had always seen this coming.
Or maybe, just maybe, it was because he was a stronger person than he had thought he was.
It was odd, to find this sort of understanding, this sort of reassurance, within himself, but Leonard found himself humbled by it. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.
“Missy and the others are going to the train station,” Penny said, her voice quiet but with the breaking of the silence, she may just as well have been shouting, “Barry apparently drove Sheldon there and dropped him off.”
Leonard nodded to himself and Penny sighed, “I’m…I’m going to meet them there. Do-do you-?”
Leonard shook his head, “No. No. I’m…I’m going to stay here.”
“Leonard…”
Leonard turned to Penny. He walked over, only apprehensive for a moment before he hugged her. She returned the hug, eyes finally welling up, “Leonard…there’s…I…”
“Shh,” he offered. He wanted to tell her they had said enough. He wanted to tell her there was really no more to say. He wanted to tell her, if anything, they could work it out later. But he didn’t. Instead he offered another quiet ‘shh’ and another warm squeeze within his embrace, his voice almost inaudible against her hair as he whispered, “It’s okay.”
Penny gasped, hugging him hard, “I love you.”
“I love you too. I just want you to be happy.”
A sob bubbled out of her and then was crushed as she broke away from him, unable to meet his eyes as she gathered up her things and turned to leave. Before she did, without looking at him, she looked down at her engagement ring.
She twisted it this way and that about her finger. Then, with a shaky breath, she began to remove it. It seemed reluctant to come off at first, but once it did, she held it in the palm of her hand.
It was an ordinary ring, sort of sad and small, but right now it seemed to sparkle, brighter than ever. She placed it on the coffee table and, while still not looking at one another, they both looked at it.
It sat between them, its’ sparkling light a comfort, a beacon, signaling the end of one thing but the beginning of another. But a beginning that would take each of them down a different path than the one they had initially envisioned. A path without one another.
Penny went back to the door, her hand on the knob, her face not meeting his as she said quietly, “You too, Leonard. You too.”
And then she was gone.