I've Been Waiting For The Poison Aftermath

Static here
Black and white
Some sort of unrest
Beneath my bones
Twisting and snap
Re-aligning my soul

I grasp that something must be done
I grasp
Noise burns unrest
Empty noise
Painful movements of the heart
Breathless
Life creates those words
I grasp
I have nothing of this

No means for these ends
Nothing to sow
Reaping
( Read more... )

We All Love Our Comfort Patterns

Find me chasing the circles
I’ve kept lit within my heart
Desperation fuels my veins
With the last gasping breaths
Looking down a barrel
Eyes blazing with the battle
I have survived
I say

Fold myself in darkness
Hide that I am made of
Plead them into filthy lies
I am nothing of them
I have survived
I say

Find me chasing the cycles
( Read more... )

How Easily We Forget To Be Whole

Limbs tremble with absence
Edged, the cliff is long
Bones thrum in ache
Fingers cradle lips
Loss is present even in the stitching
Barest of casings, maybe skin
Deeper fear poisons everything
Oh to stretch and shed this
Distrust I’ve grown for me

Crowned the demon stepped down
Smiling made me sick
Heaving soul wretched heart
( Read more... )

I Will Not Own What I Have Created

Hello again, desperate friend of mine
Sunken low into deep clouds that hang
Dripping into my eyes
How well I have known you Pain

These tears are not mine

Say the words because I see you in everything
Because I have none and need
You said you need me

Pinpricks and needle marks

How could you pull
Knowing I am staked at the ( Read more... )

The Answers Hide Deeper Than You

If you looked deeply inside me
You are curled sleeping as I see you

My heart is starved, has lain dying
Mourning the absence of your rhythm
Now skipping the beats I haven’t
Heard you speak for me
My fingertips have memorized your skin
Images of you lay over my eyelids
Tortured, I close my eyes to watch
You smiling, you ( Read more... )

Crawling Through The Holes That You Have Left

Sleepless when my eyes burned
           [ I’ll bleed them out for you and scream]
Not that I was tired anyway you see I had  just woken
     [ I would still never see your heartless light]
From a dream that you were near
         [ And you refuse to see me at all ]
And my heart was beating so fast
     [ Your ( Read more... )

Covet My Heart, You'll Find It Bleeding In Your Hands

Smile so, and sweeter still
Those eyes make me blind
Uncomprehending of your brilliance
I could never see you at all
Neon cookie cutter outlines in light
With a vague sense of who
Existing outside the boundaries of time

My heart beats when you tell it
My heart beats when you will it
Went on shallowly ( Read more... )

I changed the look of my journal, so check it out. :)

You Smiled So Hard And Said, "Don't Worry"

My fingertips mourn the loss of your touch
As they shiver in the emptiness and hang
Stretch and curl in frustration and waiting
Most of all wilting and dying for just a breath
Of your lovely heartbeat underneath them

But how could I face you, no
Still claim ( Read more... )

The Maximum Occupancy For The Heart Is Two

Deep breath
Here’s another deep breath
Before I rip my eyes out
Short rest
Here’s another long pause
Tear my hands away
Wrestle this chosen pain
You’ll have to
Please, you have to
Cut yourself out of my heart

I was weaving our heartstrings together
With your tears and that look in your eyes
Broke the pattern somewhere ( Read more... )

Okay...so I've been back for like three weeks now, sure, but in Livermore, staying with Scott, not doing much of anything but apt hunting ( Read more... )