coming. home. hurts. so. much ( Read more... )

it's the thought of that life lasting on through the night rolling onto my side kissing the mattress goodnight spitting in my hair spitting my hair hiding my coat spitting in my hair.

i had a dream last night that there was "I SUCK" written in yellow paint on the road and a sweet looking old man was writing in thin black marker all around the edges of the yellow "i suck". i wanted to see what he was writing in the i suck so i got a little closer as taylor and i were talking and then the man looked up and noticed us and thought ( Read more... )

my stomach hurts i'm all alone and i wish this weren't my home but it is even though i thought something else was.

i'm lucky and undeserving and lonely, i feel like term papers and joy division and water. there's one reason why i don't like the thought of my life ending, and it's good enough for me. my crying now is made worthless by my crying all the time, they look the same but they're not. i want to run away and live on the planitx bus. it doesn't exist.

oh chopsticks are so fun. and i had an aunt once and the lady who teaches the clss i had today has a voice with the same accent sort of as my aunts and it made me really sad. even though my aunt made me set the table for all of the guys and tried to teach me how to cook and was really dumb in that housewife way and would joke about how we cook and ( Read more... )

i'm happy about covering the sick lipstick song. our whole set i'm going to feel really anxious and i won't want to wait for the end when we play it. derp, i don't even play anything in it but i'm still excited. but scared. because what am i supposed to do, just stand there? i guess. ucf how can you do this to me. lately i've been wishing for ( Read more... )

looking out the window but the windows closed evacuating entire schools with cigarette smoke close your eyes turn up the noise so they don't know that when you laugh it's only because they're the joke. you spend all your time overanalyzing everyone one else you never find the need to pay any mind to your own self, and when i drive to your house i ( Read more... )

i wonder if i'll get pretty when i move away, i wonder why i can't sleep tonight, i wonder if that kid was right, i'm going to go stare at the back of my eyelids some more, what am i doing, i'm so confused right now, simple simple thoughts, wow, there's so much spit in my mouth, and my hair is doing nicely by the way, thanks for asking, in short, ( Read more... )

dear dino and taylor ( Read more... )